nsb oneshots!!!!

off-camera (sebryan)

(this is my first story written in first person in this book. i'm sorry if it's not that good)

I sit and watch as Sebastian talks to almost everyone in the room. I love how outgoing he is. But I could never do that. Afterall, I'm Ryan, the shy-introvert of the group. I look around the room, Regie looking at Oliver with so much love, Darren clinging onto Justin. I like that they can interact publicly like this. But sometimes, I get really annoyed. The fans love Olegie and Jusdar. But they expect Sebastian to end up with Gela and me to end up with Jia. I hate it so much. Don't get me wrong, but I love our fans. But it pisses me off to see most of them leaving hate comments on most Sebryan edits. People have almost stopped mentioning us together. All they talk about is Jia and Ryan, and Sebastian and Gela. How is it fair that the other members get to date openly and be open about their relationship, while me and Sebastian have to pretend like we're dating other people. For me, it's easy. I was never a public person so even if I post one picture with Jia in 3 months, no one suspects anything. But Sebastian? Him and Gela go above and beyond for content. I hate every picture they post. Every. Single. One. The pictures I post with Jia are just us sitting beside each other. But Sebastian and Gela? They post the most convincing pictures. It makes me uncomfortable but I've never been able to bring up the issue to Sebastian. He has anger problems and I definitely don't want to be the one to trigger them. I sigh as I grab another drink. I push the shot glass towards the bartender after I'm finished and stand up. I don't go to Sebastian, I walk over to Oliver. Even though it's a party, I need to talk to him. If I don't, this will eat me up. I pull him to the side. He raises his eyebrows in confusion. I motion my head toward Sebastian, who has hands around Gela's waist. Oliver sighs. "Why is he trying to convince the fans so hard? They already suspect, why does he need to go above and beyond?" I ask him. "Have you tried talking to him?" "Uh, no. I just figured he might not like talking about it." Oliver rolls his eyes. "Who cares? If it makes you uncomfortable, go talk to him. Please." I sigh in defeat. Oliver shoves me lightly in Sebastian's direction. I hesitate, "I'll talk to him at home."

I sit on the couch on the living room, scrolling through everyone's snap stories. After coming back from the party, everyone was tired, so they went to sleep. I wasn't really tired. I'm waiting on Sebastian to come home. I'm watching his stories, absolutely pissed. I put my phone on airplane mode and shove it in my pocket. I just want two fucking minutes of peace without having to think about all this shit. I bring my legs up on the couch and hug them close. I bury my face into my knees, frustrated, angry and sad. I hear the front door open and shut. I ignore it and just sit there.

The next morning, I'm woken up by someone gently brushing hair off my face. I open my eyes and see Oliver. "Wake up, idiot." I sigh and sit up. "I was hoping it would be Sebastian. But tough luck, I guess." Oliver sees the absolute disappointment in my face. "You can try to sort shit out. Tell him everything." "I will try to. Hopefully it goes well."

During the afternoon, we were all doing a live together. It wasn't about anything in particular, we were just talking to the fans. At some point, Sebastian came and sat on my lap, for no reason. I laughed and pretended to push him off. But he sat still. I wrapped my arms around his waist and stayed like that. My eyes wandered to the screen, and the chat was erupting with "Get off of Ryan, you have Gela." "Ryan, you're literally dating Jia, push him off." The chat was completely filled with negative shit like that. I gulped and gently pushed Sebastian off, standing up. Tears had already blurred my vision so I excused myself. Oliver noticed me walking away and followed behind. "You good?" I don't say anything and just stand with my back facing him, clutching the kitchen countertop. Tears were dripping but I refused to wipe them or make a sound. Oliver placed a hand on my shoulder. "Please, Ryan. Please. Stop putting it off and tell him. I know it's hard to pretend you don't even like him on camera. But off camera, you guys are drfiting apart too. Just please. Go tell him what's bothering you." I wipe my tears and loom at him. His entire face drops and he pulls me into a hug. Considering the fact none of the members have ever seen me cry, Oliver is probably very concerned. I needed this hug more than I knew. Once he pulled away, he looked at me and smiled. "Go, you can do it."

I'm annoyed. And sad. And hurt. After the live ended, Sebastian left the house. To meet Gela. I get that he needs to keep up appearances but it seems like he's spending more time with her than me. Don't get me wrong, I love her. She's an amazing human being and a really fun person to be around. But this is ridiculous. I'm scrolling through his snap stories, and with every picture, I feel like someone is digging a knife in my heart. I toss my phone aside and try to think of a way to confront this. As soon as I hear the front door open and shut, I sit up straight on the bed. I hear footsteps hurrying up the stairwell. Sebastian opens the door and shuts it behind him. I don't say anything and stare at him. He turns to smile at me, but my expression makes him worried. "Are you good, Ry?" I don't reply but instead I point at the chair infront of me. He sits down and reaches out to grab my hand, I let him. "I don't now how to word it better. But you and Gela are making me question everything. I know it's to keep fans entertained or whatever but it's making me feel like shit. I honestly wouldn't care if you guys were posting like this if the fans knew I was dating you. Just because you post with Gela like this, they ship you. They don't ship us because we both are supposed to be dating other people. But look at Oliver and Regie. Darren and Justin. I'm not accusing you, but think of it. How many days in the past month have you hung out with me? And by that I mean, a full day, entirely just us. When was the last time?" I know he knows that I'm about to cry, because they are already there. The tears are already threatening to fall. He opens his mouth to respond, but doesn't say anything. "I'm sorry, Ry. I'm so sorry." He pulls me to him, but I push him away. "I asked you a question." I can see the roll of his throat, but I wait for him to respond. "The last time we hung out like that was almost 2 months ago." I reply for him instead. "Two whole fucking months that went without us giving each other time. I was here, at the house, always. You were the one going out. If not to meet Gela, you would go to the club, the bar. I was sitting at the house, by myself. The only person that could sense my loneliness was your brother. Thanks to him, I didn't go fucking insane, overthinking." Sebastian sits in his guilt. "Ry, I'm sorry. I really am. Just give me one chance to make it better. Please?" I don't move for a solid minute. But then I nod. Because I love him, and I want to fix this between us. I pull him to me, he sits on top of me, straddling my lap. I kiss his forehead and smile at him. He pulls out his phone and points it at me. "Smile." He says before his phone flash hits my eyes. I chuckle. "What was that for?" "You'll see." He types something on his phone and sets it down. Seconds later, my phone is erupting with notifications. I frown suspiciously at him. I gasp at his tweet. He posted the picture of him straddling my lap, the caption saying "The only guy that I will bottom for, Ryan Nguyen."
He smiles at me innocently. I can hear Ty and Oliver going off in another room. All the comments under the tweet are positive. Joking about how they called it that he was a bottom boy. And how most of them knew for a fact we were a thing off-camera. The best comment though, is from Gela, "He wouldn't even be a switch for a girl, guys. Ryan's the only one he will ever bottom for." I chuckle and keep my phone aside. Sebastian lays on top of me, all happy and giddy. I'm so glad I have him, and I get to show it off-camera and on-camera.

thank you for reading!
i'm sorry for the late update but life isn't life-ing right now. i've been prescribed adderall and a few other antidepressants so i'm not holding up well rn. especially after the death of my grandma, every moment alive feels wrong. waking up in the morning, eating, even breathing feels wrong without her. I'm sorry but the updates will be slow while I try to get my life straightened out again. thank you so much for the support. i love y'all🫶🏻❤️

(this story is not proofread, so it might contain some mistakes)