Kitty ~ [Transformers Prime - Megastar]

(=ↀωↀ=) ~ Changings

[ ⚠️: Sort of Panic Attack; Mention of the Autistic Spectrum (I'm sorry If it's not accurate); Mention of Parental Vocal and Physical Abuse. ]

Shockwave's POV

The Nemesis has never been so silent, without Starscream constant complaining, and Megatron always yelling at him. Things have changed in the last two weeks.

Lord Megatron hasn't come out of his quarters since Starscream, Soundwave, and Knockout left. It's alarming, and Soundwave is the one dealing with Megatron's scrap usually.
But this time, no one wants to take responsibility for this, so I will.

I opened the door of Megatron's private quarters, and the first thing I saw was my leader, a sparkless warlord, in tears. He was on his berth, knees against chest plate in a defensive position.
I was shocked. No, it's not a pun.

Lord Megatron had tears running on his cheek plates, and he was hardly venting. I've never seen anyone in this state.

Shockwave: "Lord Megatron."

He looked at me. He had the expression of a lost Sparkling.
I could see despair in his optics, even if he wasn't the one suffering the most in this situation, surely.

Shockwave: "Lord Megatron, why haven't you come out of your quarters?"

He didn't respond.
I raised my voice.

Shockwave: "Lord Megatron-!"

Megatron: "SHUT UP!"

He didn't want me to talk. Why? I don't know.
I sat in front of him on his berth.

Shockwave: "Lord Megatron... how do you feel?"

He looked at me, crying desperately.

Megatron: "I-I... I don't know..."

Shockwave: "Allright, tell me 5 things you can see."

He didn't question my doing.

Megatron: "I... I can see you... a-and the sword hanging on the wall, t-the door... I-I can see the berth a-and... m-my servos...?"

Shockwave: "Great, now, tell me four things you can feel."

Not one question, again.

Megatron: "...I-I can feel the wall behind my back... and... the berth under me... t-the tears on my faceplate... a-and... I-I can feel that it's cold in here..."

Shockwave: "Great, you're doing great, my Lord, now, three things you can hear."

Megatron: "I can hear... the engines of the Nemesis, they're not that far... t-the steps of the Veicons walking in front of my room... a-and... your voice."

Shockwave: "Alright, you did good, now tell me two things you can smell."

I saw Megatron going in a little panic. He probably couldn't tell the smells in the room, so I distracted him.

Shockwave: "Alright, it's fine. Instead, tell me something you like about yourself."

Megatron: "...I-I... I-I don't know... I don't like anything about myself..."

That explains some things.
But he calmed down, at least.

Shockwave: "Alright, it's fine, I do like some things about you, like your fighting skills or your optics. They're really particular."

He looked at me, confused, but he wasn't crying anymore.

Megatron: "...thank you."

First time I heard him thanking someone who is not Soundwave.
But we need to talk this out.

Shockwave: "Why have you locked yourself here?"

He looked at me with an expression I couldn't completely understand, but he did answer, and that's good.

Megatron: "I... I don't want to stay with people."

Shockwave: "I see, and why is that?"

Megatron: "...people are awful, only Soundwave is good... and Starscream..."

Shockwave: "What about Starscream."

Megatron: "I don't understand him. He's great. He knows what he does, and he's an incredible Seeker... but he's stupid."

Shockwave: "Yes, I noticed his stupidity."

Megatron: "But... he tried to kill me many times... why hasn't he done it while he was a cat? He was literally staring at me as I recharged."

Shockwave: "...from what I know, Soundwave asked him to help you in exchange to not tell he was the cat."

His red optics looked at me.

Megatron: "H-Help me...?"

Shockwave: "With your stress... it is... stress, isn't it?"

He didn't answer. At that moment, I remembered a lesson on the science of the analysis of a bot's processor.

It could be.
Not understanding others' feelings or behavior, overwhelmed by loud noises while in a crisis.

I'm not sure these are the only symptoms, but it surely triggers the idea.

Shockwave: "Lord Megatron, are you part of the ASD?"

Megatron: "...the what...?"

Shockwave: "Autism spectrum disorder."

He looked at me and started crying again, probably overwhelmed by the idea of having something "wrong".

Megatron: "NO! I-I'M FINE! I'M NORMAL! THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!"

I waited for him to stop yelling, and looked at him with my single optic.

Shockwave: "I agree, you're completely fine, there's nothing wrong, just... different."

He looked at me, confused.
What the frag has he been told as a Sparkling?

Megatron: "...Sire said that I'm wrong..."

Shockwave: "Well, he's the wrong one, the Autistic spectrum is not an illness. It's just having a processor that works differently from others... I know it."

He stayed silent, listening to me.

Shockwave: "I've never been good with people, actually, I was terrible. Other Sparklings would laugh at me and mock me for my lack of social skill... things started getting clear when I beat up another Sparkling, a little older than me, because she told me I was wrong. I've never been wrong, but I understood it only after years of therapy... It seems like Autism and Asperger syndrome are not so different."

He looked at me, shocked.
I got closer to him, pointing out my servo.

Shockwave: "We are not wrong, but If you're not ready to accept it, we can be wrong together."

He took my servo, and surprisingly, hugged me.

Megatron: "I think you're great with people"

We stayed like that for a while, until Lord Megatron feel into recharge.
I can't believe someone told a Sparkling they're wrong just for being different.

Well, yes, I can believe.
It's not like it was much different for me.

~( ˘▾˘~)

I did the stupid :D