David

XXXIX

Four months before

Damiano's POV

  I walked into a bar for the first time in a year. I was afraid I might give in to alcohol again. But I felt I was finally ready. I saw many familiar faces that smiled at me and raised their glasses. Ethan was behind me. We sat on the barstools and ordered some light beer. I was not risking it with strong liquor. It's been a year since she left and a year since I started going to therapy. I resolved almost all the issues that I didn't even know I had. The one with De Luca was still present.

"To new beginnings!", Ethan raised his beer.
"To new beginnings!", I repeated even though I only wanted the old one. I wanted Bianca. I loved Bianca.

  The way she got under my skin was a mystery to me. But my soul ached for her. My body craved her touch. And my heart was half empty without her. Still, I was there toasting to new beginnings. I knew how much I hurt her and I didn't dare to show my face anywhere near her even though I wanted it so much that it was killing me. Ethan was the one who kept me updated since she was with Sienna. Bianca left us all and all of us understood. Vic and E were angry with me for a solid six months after we separated. But I knew they loved me. B and Ethan have always had a relationship that I did not quite understand but I knew they were fond of each other in some platonic way and she trusted him. Fuck, I've missed her so much.

"Dam, are you okay?", Ethan broke my stream of thoughts.

"I- yeah. I need a smoke.", I answered.
"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No need. I'm a big boy.", I said and went to the backdoor of the bar.

  As I stepped outside I saw someone was already out and smoking. I did not bother to look closer so I just lit my cigarette and inhaled the smoke.

"Long time no see.", I heard a way too familiar voice.

"Lorenzo De Luca.", I said exhaling the smoke.

"Damiano David.", he mocked me.

"What the hell do you want?", I asked leaning against the wall.

"How are you?", he asked.

"Fabulous!", I said sarcastically.

"I know you don't believe me but I am serious.", he said coming out of the shadows so I could see his face.

"Why so sudden?"

"It is not sudden. It is because of Bianca."

"You dare say her name! Bold of you.", I said as my blood started boiling slowly.

"I did not mean that as a provocation. I meant she helped me understand what I did to you. What I was about to do again, with her.", he said.

"You motherfucker!", I said and pinned him against the wall holding him by the collar of his shirt.

"Just before you kill me, I have to say something.", he said calmly and I inhaled deeply and backed off.

"I am a horrible person, a horrible friend. I am aware. And trust me, it tortures me. I've always been subconsciously jealous of you, your talents, and just the person you are. And I wanted to say, I am sorry. I am sorry for the past and I am sorry for now. I am sorry for being a reason for your misery both times. I hope that one day you will find the strength to forgive me.", he said and I was shocked but did want to show it.

"Nice story.", I replied.

"I am serious, Dam.", he looked at me with half-drunk eyes.

  I clenched my fist and hit him in the face so that he fell. He seemed confused at first but then he laughed.

"I deserved that!", he said whipping the blood from his lip.

"And don't give yourself so much credit! You were not the reason for my misery this time. It was all me.", I said and headed back to the bar.

"Are we good now?", he yelled still on the ground.

"Forgive but never forget!", I replied as I turned around and gave him a hand to help him get up.

  As I closed the door behind me I sighed deeply. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I just stood there for a few minutes and processed everything that just happened. Was this feeling of lightness what they called closure? Was I healed? I smiled from ear to ear. The feeling of gratitude washed over me.

"Dam, there you are! I was starting to get worried!", E said as he saw me standing before the back door.

"Of course I am! What did you think?", I said smiling.

"That you got into a fight, or kidnapped, or-", he was saying when the door opened and Lorenzo walked in.

  Ethan looked at me with eyes wide open.

"What?"

"Show me your hands!"

"Why?"

"Because Lorenzo De Luca just walked in with blood on his lip and a bruise under his eye.", Ethan said seriously.

"Okay! I hit him but we resolved our issues. It helped.", I admitted.

"Yeah, right. Damiano, if this is one of your fits again I will not be here to support you.", he said angrily.

"E, I am serious. It's okay! More than okay, actually! Everything is amazing!", I said.

"Okay.", he smiled and I knew he trusted me.

"Come here!", I said and pulled him into a big, tight hug.

"Oh, my God, you're choking me.", he said hitting my back but then he gave in and hugged me back.

"I am so glad you're okay, bud! I am so happy and proud of you.", he said.

"Thank you!"

"I love you man!"

"I love you, too, E!", I said and we continued our night together.

  It was heartwarming and wholesome. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this free and weightless. There was only one thing missing and I was determined to get her.

Hello everyone,

  I am back with another part but from Damiano's point of view this time! I hope you're doing good!

Love,
A Kid From Neverland

Instagram: @i_vukotic