It's been about 2 weeks since me and Toms break up, I miss him like mad but I honestly don't wanna get back with him if he's cheated once. He'll probably go and cheat on me again if I forgive him. Thinking about him just makes me sad.
"Y/n" One of Toms friends whispered to me in lesson
"Mhm" I looked at him
"Where's Tom" he asked slightly concerned
"I don't know" I mumbled, I was hoping to just forget about him for the day. Although he hasn't been to school for a couple days and it does worry me, I don't want to worry but I still love him I suppose.
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"Bill" I walked up behind Bill when I spotted him walking to lunch.
"Fuck you scared me" he spun round, his eyes widened
"Sorry" I laughed "where's Tom?" I asked a bit quieter
"Home" Bill sighed "you should really talk to him - he hasn't left his room and he hasn't come to our music practise" He added
"Mm I might" I mumbled, taking it into consideration.
Maybe I should talk to him and try get him to actually come to school and stuff, even though he cheated the fact that he isn't really looking after himself worries me.
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"Y/n honey, go get ready I'm going over to Simones and you need to come with me" my mum stuck her hound round the living room door.
"Oh ok" I replied, getting up off the sofa to go change.
"Hold on. Mum?" I asked as I stood at the bottom of the stairs.
"Yeah?" My mum smiled
"Simone Kaulitz?" I asked
"Yes?" She laughed walking into the kitchen
My eyes widened as she replied. Bills at Gustav's today. Tom hasn't left his house. I'm going to his house. I'm gonna see him.
"FUCK" I screamed into my pillow as I jumped onto bed.
"SHIT" I yelped as I rolled off the side of my bed.
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"Y/n get out the car" my mum rolled her eyes, pulling the door on my side open and grabbed my arm.
"I can get out myself" I smiled at sarcastically, climbing out of the car. My mum knows about me and Toms argument. I'm certain she's trying to end me right now. In fact I know she is.
"Hi Simone" my mum smiled as the door was opened in front of us.
"Hii!" She smiled brightly, Tom definitely has a more similar smile to her. Even though him and Bill are twins.
"Hi!." I replied awkwardly not knowing what to call her. Do I say Mrs Kaulitz? Simone? Idfk.
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I'm sat in the kitchen, I haven't said much nor have I contributed to their conversation. I mean what am I suppose to say??
"Y/n lovely why don't you go up and see Tom? I'm sure your bored" Simone smiled, I saw my mum tense up knowing exactly what happened between me and him.
"Oh" my eyes widened "yeah yeah I'll- I'll go up" I nodded, smiling awkwardly and indicating down the hallway with my thumb. Fuck me.
"You know where his room is don't you?" She smiled cluelessly. Had Tom not told her?! Ffs.
"Yeah yeah I like- I know" I smiled, backing out of the kitchen. Do I actually go up? I'll go up. I'll talk to him, like Bill wanted me to. I'm doing this purely for Bill.
I got up to his room and knocked on his door, fidgeting with my hands awkwardly. Nobody answered. Do I go down now?? Do I stand here and just wait...? I'll go downstairs.
I got to the middle of the staircase when I heard a door unlock and footsteps across the landing. My eyes widened as they stopped and I heard Tom talk.
I felt like I'd been caught in the middle of committing murder or some shit.
"Y/n why are you here?" He asked
I turned round slowly, and very awkwardly.
"Heyy" I smiled awkwardly, my eyes still widened as if I'd seen a ghost "I'm just here?" I continued, still smiling nervously.
"Can we talk then?" He asked
"Yeah why not" I shrugged as if it was nothing and followed him back into his room. It was a fucking messsss.
"Uhm" Tom scratched the back of his neck "I'm sorry"
I nodded my head, playing with my hands.
I'd be upset in this situation if it was any other time period in this whole breakup situation. I'm just sort of accepting the fact he cheated and we are finished right now - in a few days time I'll be bawling my eyes out about it though.
"I didn't want to kiss her. She kissed me and people were calling her y/n, I couldn't see since it was dark and I didn't realise it wasn't you and then when you came up to me I was confused and I like- I'm so sorry" he explained, speaking very fast and very sincerely.
I didn't really know what to say, I believed him but I didn't want too. I seem weak, like I'll just believe everyone I've ever let into my life. And last time I trusted someone I loved it didn't really end too well. In fact it ended the same as me and Toms break up, but in this case I really hoped it could've worked.
"Tom look i uhm- can I like think about it..? Like I I don't like i uhm yeah can I just have time" I struggled for words. What the fuck am I suppose to say. Just then my mum called me saying we were leaving.
"Uhm I need to go...sorry" I mumbled, turning out of his room and hurrying down the stairs.
YOU ARE READING
Hidden feelings / Tom Kaulitz x Y/N
FanfictionY/N moves to Germany and becomes best friends with Bill kaulitz. His brother, Tom, however tends to stay away or is just overall mean. Could this change? Or is he just giving mixed signals?
