Andril paravai Naan...(I am the Andril Bird) (Completed)

She is tired.......

Author's POV

An remote village  near a mountain there was a big farmhouse isolated from the small village....

As it was night time it's was dark a lady came out of that bungalow carrying a small kid and she went out through the backside gate and entered into dark Forrest..... She walked fast time to time turning back and checking is she was followed....

That Forrest was too dark and she could hear owl and bats and other strange sounds that is scaring her she hugged the kid tightly.... She can't let anything happen to him.....

She reached a shed after half an hour walk there was a man waiting for her with a car.

She got in the car and that man droves to another place.... That kid was around 4 years old and was sleeping she looked at his tear strained face...her heart pained and she wants to shout aloud and cry but she can't she should not.... She have to be strong for him....

Her hands slowly creased  his cheeks where  her hand prints were visible.... She slapped him.... She couldn't believe she did that to him but she can't control her emotions it's already killing her from inside along with his constant question and what he said that time made her slap him......

She gulped the lump formed in her throat..... No she should not be weak now...... She said to herself for the n time she have no count how many times she said that to herself as there was no one else to say that to her...

She became a loner again........ But this time it was hurting her the most she is tired of fighting she is tired of being strong she is tired of facing all alone..... She is tired of feeling guilty for being the reason behind the misery......

The  car stopped infront of place it looked like a tribal people's habitat..

Because it was one she got down  from the car and carried that kid too... She went inside of a bigger hut present there.....there was a small cot she made the kid lay there and there was a lady nearby... She smiled at her..... She can believe that tribal lady... She to smiled and creased her son's  head before entering further inside...

There was a man laying on the plant based bed .. There was a old man standing beside him and checking him.....

That old man looked up at her... He understood her un asked question.... He shook his head negatively giving her the answer....

That old man left the place leaving her alone with him...

She slowly moved towards him with shaking legs.. She was trembling..... Finally she came near him and sat on the floor... Her eyes stilled at his face........ He was not looking at her nor smiling at her which she was craving for.... For the past 2 years.....

With her trembling hand she held his hand in hers... Those hands which always held back her tightly giving her the warmth was lifeless.... She kissed his hand and kept over her cheeks and leaned over it...

Like how she always do when ever he touches her.... Remembering that tears flowed out and wet his plam but he didn't react to it......

" You said you will lend your shoulder to cry on.... I am crying now... See you didn't even asked me the why.... You  are sleeping peacefully while I was living all alone without you....

You love me right then why are you still not  waking up to held me in your arms and assure me that everything will be alright and your are there for me.....

How could you when you are in this condition because of saving me.... If I didn't  came in your life you would have been happier at least living somewhere...... See what happened because of me....

May be I was right.... Others words were right I don't deserve love and care..... Anyone loves me  and care fpr me will leave me and the reason is also me........... First my mother she died gave because of giving birth to me.....then appa his worry about me killed him......... Then........ Then Gowri..........she was killed because she helped me...

Yeah..... It wasn't accident... Its a planned murder he said that to me himself.....

Then you........ You are in coma because of saving my life......who asked you to do that... Huh...... You should have let him kill me than giving up on your life for me........

I don't deserve your love.... You don't deserve this.......

Here I became all alone again.... At least when amma left me... Appa was there when he left shiva and Gowri were there...........

But now I am alone..... I can't even console shiva what I can say him.... That his chellama was died and the reason is me.... How... I couldn't face him... He doesn't know anything about this.... And was still do care for me and console me whenever I call him when he himself lost his love right in front of his eyes.....

All the people around me only suffering..... I don't know what to do..... I can't even kill myself.... I can't leave Dev alone......... You know I slapped him today.... He would surely hate me  right.... I am such a bad mother.... I am a bad daughter..... Bad wife..... Now bad mother..... "

" Amma"...

She heard the faint voice of her son... She immediately wiped her tears and put up a forced smile on her face. And looked back...

The little boy is standing there creasing his eyes because of half sleep.....once he saw her and then the person near her.... She looked at his mother...

" Come here Dev..... You wanted to see your father right.... Come..... "...

He ran to her and sat near her and looked at the man lying there..... He again looked at his mother...

" Appaa thongurara maa"..

( is appa sleeping maa)

She closed her eyes and nodded her head...

" Yes.... And appa have fever that's why I didn't let you meet him"..

"Epoma appa kanumulipar"

( when will appa wake up)

" I don't know Dev......... I don't know "...

She couldn't take it more she cried.... That small boy turned towards her and hugged her tightly and creased her head..... Just how his father does..... She cried even more hugging her son.........

Author's note...

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