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#35 - My crush is the classroom joker!

Hello :P

Ok, so I have a crush. This is the kind of guy that is the joker in the classroom. He's never serious. I once messaged him telling him I liked him, but I later deleted it. I try texting him, but he never responds. He once responded but it was about jokes like "8====D" and stuff like that... Lol. I don't know how he feels! I like to think he likes me but then there are 2 other girls in my class that I think he likes! I get really self conscious. They are both tall and popular, but let me just say one has a nasty attitude..! Now I have a fear, if he asks me out what am I going to say? What if it's some kind of dare?

-Scared Teenager

::

Hey there!

I'll break this down into three bits, addressing (1) your crush on this guy, (2) the two girls and you feeling self-conscious and (3) your fear of him asking you out (and what if it is some kind of dare).

(1) Your crush on this guy

Alright then, first things first.

I don't know if anyone else agrees with me when I say, NEVER GO FOR THE CLASS JOKER. Like seriously, he's bad news. These dudes, like you said, are never serious and they think that everything is a joke. It's the most frustrating crush in the whole world: I'm saying this from experience.

Why I have an issue with them is that because they are never serious, they won't take your crush on them very seriously either. And that's the most painful bit, because they're probably having a laugh toying with your emotions while it's actually a big deal for you! I remember having a crush on our class joker, and he was extremely nice to me (so of course I was like, hmmm, something could come out of this!) until I heard him joking around with his friends about my crush on him. And it was the worst feeling in the world, because what was so trivial for them was very serious for me. It hurt, but I had to get over it because it was an unhealthy crush for me to have.

You say your crush never responds and when he did, it was a p*nis (haha, how funny *rolls eyes*) - I feel like this is another sign that your crush on him should probably end. From my experience, if a guy likes you, he will make the effort to text you and talk to you more. If he never responds, you shouldn't waste your time anymore. I'd even go as far as to say that that reply was disrespectful as hell: I'm sure you had something worth responding to, but he didn't dignify your statement with a legit response. That just pisses me off. Does he respect you? Because class jokers don't seem to have that for people, dammit!

Maybe I'm a bit bias against jokers, and maybe he may have some substance attached to his comedy, but from what you've told me I recommend that if this guy has not shown any signs of having an interest in you, then perhaps it is time to move on.

(2) The two girls and your self-consciousness

You think he likes two other girls?

TWO? Like not even one?!

Lovey, he seems like bad news. That's all I'm saying on this.

Now, to address your self-consciousness. Babe, you have to stop comparing yourself to other girls. I've mentioned this quote before in a previous chapter - comparison is the thief of joy. Comparing yourself against these apparently "tall and popular" girls will just cause you more grief. It is as if you're putting yourself in a competition that doesn't exist. You needn't do that. You need to understand that you also have valuable qualities that you have to offer, and maybe you don't know it but someone else may be jealous of you! Be comfortable in your own skin and if any guy makes you feel any less beautiful than you are, flip 'em off.

Like for real, to hell with them.

(3) (a) What if he asks me out, what do I say?

Okay, okay, I'll put my bias feelings away and treat this question as though you legit really like the guy and don't care if he's a joker etc, and you want to go out with him.

If he asks you out, just say yes. There is no particular or ideal way you're supposed to reply, I'm afraid. Just smile and say, "I'd like that."

It's pretty simple! The thing about being asked out is that sometimes you don't really see it coming and you're caught off-guard, so there's not much preparation you can do. If you can see it coming though, it probably means you and the guy have been talking a lot and you're both comfortable with each other - you probably even know he likes you - and so it won't be so awkward if he asks you out either.

But seriously, there's no right or wrong when it comes to replying to a guy when he asks you out. Just say yes or no, according to how you feel.

(b) What if it's some sort of dare?

...now this is why I hate jokers. Because you can never know when they're being legit!

If it's some sort of dare, how will you know that it is? You won't, and so if you say yes, it'll be the most embarrassing thing (it's happened to me before omfg). So maybe you could save yourself such embarrassment and maybe just distance yourself from this guy. It's unhealthy.

But then again, this is just my opinion. If you really like this guy, go for it!

Tell me what you decide:)

Love,

- genie_us xxx