Your Wattpad Agony Aunt! (On hold)

#7 - My cousin has changed!

Well, everything that I'd written before somehow got deleted, GAAAH.

I hope I can remember all I'd said.

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Dear Aunt Agony,

I don't know how to start this but, my cousin and I are really close, or used to be really close and then pof! She starts acting like she's older than me, and more mature, and like I'm a little kid. I'm six months older than her. SIX MONTHA! At camp she wore tight spandex shorts and a see-through crop top. She's eleven. 

I don't know what to do and I want my old cousin back. She's turned into what I call a dropper: they are bff's with you until someone better comes along and then well, they drop you. All the jokes are on me around anyone else and she uses me as the punch line to the jokes that make her popular. Then if I bring it up after, she will deny it and make fun of me. 

Please answer soon.

Bye:)

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Hey!

I just want to start by saying that I'm really sorry about your cousin. It's annoying losing someone you've been great friends with, especially when they're always right there in front of you.

What I think it is for her is that it may be some sort of weird phase, where she's finally getting a taste of what it feels like to be popular and well, she's loving it. 

That's not going to last, though. So hold through it. If I'm right, she'll come springing back to you.

However, here are a few things you can do in the meantime.

1. Don't confront her 

You said that you've brought it up a couple of times? Well, stop doing that, because of the following reasons:

- she will deny it

You've already experienced this for yourself. What will happen is that people who will change suddenly (As your cousin did) know that they've changed, but they want to pretend that they've always been like that. 

- she won't listen

The last thing your cousin wants to hear is you telling her what she's doing wrong because according to her, she's doing pretty fine.

- she sees that it's getting to you

...which means that it will keep going on. She is intentionally trying to hurt you, so you showing that it's bothering you means that you're only fueling her fire.

- she'll continue to make fun of you

You even said it yourself: "then if I bring it up after, she will deny it and make fun of me."

So, there you go. 

2. Leave her be

I know, I know. It hurts watching someone you know and love doing something that is fucked up and stupid, and being someone that they aren't at all. And, because of your past friendship, you feel like you can do something to snap her out of it.

Yet, sometimes, even we (as their closest friends) can't do that because they don't want anything to do with us anymore (well, at least for that period of time).

And I know that this may sound like the shittiest piece of advice, but take my word for it: leave her  be. 

She's having fun. She's on a 'high', yea, and what she may feel you're doing is being a debby downer and putting a damper on her fun. 

Try as much as you might to talk sense into her, I doubt that it's going to work. I've had a friend who did what your cousin did to you before, and after many fights with her for it, I just left her alone.

Next thing I knew, she came crashing down from that high that she had had.

And the first person she ran to? 

Me. 

And funny enough, I was there for her. So:

3. Be there for her, no matter what

If I'm correct in saying that this is a phase for her, you need to let her know that when she's out of it, you'll still be there for her. Don't hold a grudge against her, don't treat her differently. 

Forgive her for it. Tell her it's okay, that you'll still and always be there for her no matter what crazy shit she continues to get up to.

When she's not herself, there will definitely come a point where she'll have to go back to normal; her disguise can't stay on forever. Just let her know that you'll still be there waiting when she's ready to take her mask off.

3. Keep yourself busy

Make many other new and genuine friends.

Chances are, your cousin tried to be popular because she's enjoying the false comfort that having many supposed friends gives her. Now, you've got to go out there and make REAL friends. When she sees you with other people who make you happy, she may begin to realise some things for herself. 

Also, getting friends for yourself means that you don't have to focus on your cousin so much, which means that it may take a bit of the pain away.

4. Don't show her that it hurts (be nice)

I know it hurts, but you can't show her that because that's what she wants. Talk to her like everything's normal. Laugh at her stupid jokes about you as if it's nothing personal. That could be really hard, but try your best to put on a brave face.

If you think about it, how else can you react to her 'hate' other than being nice? If you retaliate, that gives her more of a reason to be mean. If you cry, she'll see that you're weak and easily broken down. So keep your head held high and smile. 

Kill her with kindness.

::

When people suddenly change like that, it's more often than not that they'll switch back to normal after they realise that it wasn't as great as they thought it wasw.

All this hype, all this short-spandex-shorts-and-see-through-tops will go soon. She's the one acting like a little kid.

What you have to do: turn the other cheek, be mature. 

As you grow older, I think you'll realise that you just don't have some time for people's bullshit. Even though she's your best friend, what she's giving you right now is bullshit, and it may be hard to help her at this point. She doesn't seem like she's going to listen. 

Some things are better left for people to figure out for themselves. That's one thing I know for a fact. You can't always protect people from everything so try as you might, she might just have to experience popularity for herself and learn that it's really not that much. 

When she goes completely astray, do your best to warn her. If her behaviour keeps on being stupid (you know what I mean, lol), just try and keep your eye on her.

Hopefully she'll realise soon enough what she's doing wrong, 

Good luck with her!

- genie_us

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I just wanted to thank you so much for all your votes and reads (3000 in a week? Holy shit!). The response to this has been overwhelming, and I will continue to do my very best to help you all.

Just one thing yea, if you've submitted your problem, please don't get impatient if I haven't yet answered it because there's so many of them and well, I'm not superman. 

#2 in the non-fiction genre?

You guys are awesome. 

<3