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#56 - Friendzoned!

Dear genie_us,

I have a problem. I like my best friend. Well that's not really the problem. The issue is that I told him, but because I'm usually a shy person when it comes to crushes, I avoided him afterwards and he did the same. I want to talk to him again but he's always with someone. Help!

Sincerely,

- Missing My Bestie

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Hello,

I'm here to say that I've definitely been in the same boat as you, plenty of times.

I think the only difference between you and I is that my life motto is:

'It's only as awkward as you make it.'

For anyone who knows me, that's what I go by. Which makes it much easier when it comes to dealing with crushes, because I'll tell them straight up that I like them; and if they try to make it awkward I'll say, without flinching:

"Well, what's there to be awkward for? I knew you didn't like me back, I just felt that I needed to tell you. Dude, it's not the end of the world. It's never that serious, I can live. So stop making this awkward and let us resume our friendship."

Of course, inside I'm dying, but because I refuse to make the situation awkward, it ceases to be. The guy usually gets embarrassed about it and when guys get embarrassed they tend to change the subject so quickly that you all just forget about it.

I know it takes a lot of balls to act as if you don't find the situation awkward at all, but I reckon that that's the best thing to do when you get into such a situation. Discard the awkwardness by talking about it.

If you find that he's always talking to someone else, politely excuse yourself and ask to talk to him in private. If you do it politely enough, no feelings will have been caught, and you'll then have him to yourself. You can either tell him that you'll need to talk to him alone later, or you can talk to him then and there. You can say something along the lines of,

"I miss the friendship we used to have. I don't like us being awkward. It doesn't matter the feelings I have for you; I just want our friendship back. If there's a problem, can we at least talk about it instead of avoiding each other?"

Hopefully this will be enough to get him – and even you – to open up about what's been going on. You need to remember that this is your best friend, and being someone's best friend just doesn't stop because someone had a little crush. If this is the case, then was he really your best friend? What I'm trying to say is that this is a little hitch in the road and if you and he are truly best friends, it's something you'll be able to overcome.

Just talk about it. Denounce the awkwardness.

Oh, and don't overthink things! That's a recipe for disaster.

Hope I helped!

Lots of love in the new year,

- genie_us xx

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