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#23 - I don't want to lose him...

I've had a few boyfriends in the past, and they've all broken my heart and left destruction in their wake. Now, someone's coming along and they've stolen my heart. The thing is, I am quite wary about guys these days because of what others have done to me.

My heart is saying I can trust him, but my brain is still questioning whether or not this is going to work. He is the sweetest thing ever and I don't want to lose him because of how I feel towards other guys. What should I do?

::

Heya!

So here's my advice. 

1. Let him know of your insecurities

There's nothing worse than heading into a relationship with so many secrets and insecurities because you won't allow yourself to be loved. So, you have to tell him you're scared. 

Tell him how much you like him, and you're afraid because you've gotten hurt so much before. Tell him that all your relationships haven't ended too well for you...

I think it's important to share this with him so that he'll know to take care of you. He'll know that you're vulnerable, and he'll be ever gentle with you. Letting him know this can help him understand you, and it may actually lift a huge weight over your back: his assurance may be the one thing that can help you trust him.

2. Take it slow

After you've told him why you're afraid, ask him if you can take it slow.

What I mean by taking it slow is basically just being cautious of which direction you're heading in in the relationship, so that you're not moving too fast or at different paces from each other. 

When you take things slowly, it helps you get back on your feet. It's also quite comforting knowing that he's walking each step with you. When you aren't rushing into things, it enables you to really think about what you want and everything, so that when you get "there" (wherever "there" is - saying I love you?), you don't have any regrets because you mean it. 

Also, I think any guy who agrees to take the relationship a bit slower is worth keeping because that's when you know they really care about you :)

3. Try and be open

Hard as it might be, you need to be open. You need to expose your vulnerability if you really, really like this guy and think he's worth keeping.

This is because, if you're all closed up, it's going to be hard to form a healthy relationship between the two of you. So be yourself, and don't shut him out.

::

Of course, there'll always be the possibility of another heartbreak. I don't want to say that you'll be guaranteed all daisies and rainbows at this point, but sometimes I think love is worth that risk. You've found a guy that is really, really sweet. If you think he's worth keeping, then let it be. Heartbreak heals over time, it always does, and you must keep trying - even though yo've been hurt before - because that's how you'll eventually find that one person that'll make you so, so, so happy. And that person will compensate for all of the heartbreak and pain you felt before. Heck, he'll make it seem like it was nothing! 

I understand that it's hard to open up your heart for fear that it may be hurt again, but you can never love again if you don't open it up in the first place.

So yea. Tell him you're scared, but tell him how much you trust him. Your part then will be to enjoy his company, and embrace him, and to open yourself up to him!

Hope I helped.

- genie_us xx