Your Wattpad Agony Aunt! (On hold)

#74 - How do i deal with my anxiety?

Hi!

I was looking at your Agony Aunt Advice story, which is awesome btw.

If I can ask, I've been having a bit of a mental crisis with myself, and although I always do my very best to be the nicest I can be, and I always try to keep calm and work things out during arguments and be forgiving and loving etc., I always seem to say the wrong thing and piss people off.

I'm always getting crazy anxiety attacks and I jump out at people, even strangers, and create enemies. I say things I don't even mean, and it's all just a mess. Do you have any advice to help me chill out at bad times and get my head together so I think better about myself and be nicer to other people?

I would really appreciate the help, so thanks in advance. You're one of my favorite writers on Wattpad xx

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Heyo!

Thank you!!! That's very sweet of you. Sorry I've taken so long answering this. That's probably because I've been doing a bit of research trying to see how I can help you.

However, you should remember that I'm definitely not an expert on this and regardless of what I say, you need to seek medical attention. I know you mentioned that counsellors and the such don't seem to help you very much, but I still think that it doesn't mean you shouldn't give professionals a shot with this. You might be beating yourself up for doing what you do but it may not even be your fault at all. Do your parents know that you get anxiety attacks and have erratic behavior?

Recommend to them that you'd like to see a doctor or therapist or psychological specialist (I'm really not the expert on this), but a qualified someone who can help you through it by prescribing you appropriate medication and other means to help you overcome your problem.

Aside getting medical attention, I sort of thought of some things that fingers crossed may help:

- Think positive. I know it's difficult sometimes to have good thoughts when you always seem to be messing up, but truth is that negativity only gives birth to more negativity. So try and have a smile on your face and see the brighter side in the things around you. It might just help you cope when you're struggling.

- Don't blame yourself. Like I mentioned, you might discover that it's not your fault at all and that something may have been going on that triggers your behavior. It's not your fault at all, so don't beat yourself up for it.

- Make your own mantra. Sometimes, when I'm stressing out, I often repeat a certain Bible verse to myself and it really helps me get through it, regardless of how scared or stressed out I am. Maybe you can try making your own statement or phrase that you continually repeat to yourself, over and over, just to help you get through tough days. It could be a quote you once read that really gave you hope or strength, or a simple line you think may help you like 'I can do anything' or 'If it's not okay, it's not the end.' You can say it in your head, you can say it out loud, you can write it on sticky notes and place them all over your room. Just have a line that gives you comfort, a line that makes you feel at home when you begin to freak out.

- Breathe. Taking deep breathes always seems to relax the body. Whenever you feel like you're going to say something unfavorable, try and relax first.

- Think before you speak. Sometimes it's hard to do that, and even I have struggled with it, but sometimes you just have to try and be silent if you haven't anything positive to add to the conversation.

- Try and talk to someone about it. It could be a friend you trust, a family member, even the school counselor. Talking to someone helps release the feelings you have been burying inside.

- Try and identify triggers. Do you think certain things make you behave that way more than others? Try and figure out what it could be that makes you do so, and if you are able to do this then maybe you can try and avoid it.

- Hang out with people who understand you and love you all the same. It may be difficult to feel good about yourself sometimes, and so make it a point to hang out with people who are able to lift you up and make you smile after a long day. Hang out with people who understand you get messy sometimes, who won't judge you for it.

- You can't stop yourself making enemies, but you can control the extent to which that hurts you. Try not to worry so much about it. If it makes you feel better, you can try and apologize to the people you may have jumped out at. Let them know that you didn't mean to do it.

- Participate in activities that make you happy and that bring out the best in you. Do you like to draw? Or write poetry? Or perhaps you're an amazing swimmer or dancer or whatever? What brings out the best in you? Perhaps it could even be as simple as fishing by yourself, or re-reading your favourite novel. Try and maximize your free time by doing the things you love to do and that make you happy, that make you feel safe, that take you to another world. These could help you get your head together and help you cool down.

- Listen to music. I may be bias because I'm a musician, but I always find that listening to music is one of the most calming things I can do. When I'm in a bad mood and I'm most likely going to snap at the next person I see, I just plug in and let the music take my mind off things. Sometimes I end up crying, but that's okay. Music has a purging effect. Just crank up the volume (not too high ofc haha) and listen to your favourite band or some throwback tracks or whatever you please.

Hopefully this helps! But like I said in the beginning, try and see a doctor who can help you figure out what's going on.

Good luck. Let me know how it goes, yea?!

Lots of love,

~ genie_us xx