Petrichor ~ Lewis Hamilton

21

As usual, me not following my own posting schedule😂 but this time IT'S TO BRING IT EARLIER. Really, thank you for all the support you are giving to the story, enjoy <3
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September 30, 2021, Monaco

That night I stayed at home but I felt as if the white walls of my apartment were getting closer and closer to me. It felt stuffy and claustrophobic even in a house too big for me alone.

So I left the house the next morning, hoping to leave the previous night behind in search of perhaps a new perspective on all of this.

But once I got to the studio I took the unfinished painting off the easel and put up a blank canvas. The painting was simple, it should be easier to finish but it's getting stuck.

The idea had been to try to capture the way a person can make you feel just by touching you. How a simple contact can enlighten you with the right person. It was a dark painting, a woman in the middle, you couldn't even see her face, it was cut just before reaching her chin. A hand approaching her, its fingers almost touching the left side of her chest and just the point where they had contact...I don't know, it was supposed to illuminate the entire painting just with it.

I couldn't get the colors right, the hand looked weird and I had lost count of how many times I had started it from scratch only to be disappointed again. It was just so difficult to express what I felt because I didn't even fully understand it enough myself.

How it was such a liberating sensation, the feeling of connecting with someone, longing for someone. And I know it was just science, a total eclipse of the brain, even though it seems like everything comes from the heart because of the way it speeds up every time I see him, a flood of dopamine into my bloodstream that becomes as addictive as a drug.

So I decided to leave it for a time when I wasn't looking forward to that feeling again, when my body chemistry had stabilized enough that my brain didn't feel as cloudy.

Instead I distracted myself with any other idea that might come to mind, anything other than him. But it was being difficult for me.

I guess I lost track of time, I barely returned home for an hour to grab a quick bite or take a shower, having spent the last two days here, ignoring the world that kept on moving outside of this four walls.

It was a call, in the end, that got me out of this spiral.

"Hello gorgeous, great news" she started and I swear I could hear the smile of her face "the gallery has accepted displaying the capsule collection, they will be there for a month before returning to your studio again, I will send you the new contract later"

"That's great" I say simply.

"Have you finished the painting you had left? I'm looking forward to seeing it" I sigh and take a look at it, laying on top of a sheet of plastic I used to not mess up the floor.

"No I...I still cant get it quite right" I confess.

"What's it about?"

"You know it's about him you don't need to ask" she chuckles at the other side of the line, oblivious of the events of the other night.

"I know but about what? A trip, a photo maybe-"

"I just can't get the feeling right, you know?" I interrupt her, I rub my forehead trying to relax the tension there.

"He feels like a hug you know? Like one of those hugs that leaves you breathless because of how tight the other person is holding you? I feel sort of breath and constricted but at the same time it makes me feel so safe, because there are times when all you need is to be kept upright while your whole world is falling apart and you with it, and he managed that." She listened carefully to every word I was saying "But now I feel like without that support I'm collapsing, Gina." I murmur, feeling helpless.