A high sea adventure

Is this a good or bad decision?

Some blocks down on that very same night James was awake while Lily was asleep upstairs in their bedrooms their house and Sirius' houses were some blocks away from them but Sirius' house was closer to the sea while James and Lily's house was closer to the ship and the land of the town just showing how different the two boys were. James sighed he didn't know what to do at all he didn't know if he drew a line when it came to anything or if he said something that he wasn't meant to say because James never wanted to make Sirius his best friend upset since he cares about him quite a bit since they were good friends while growing up but something was on James' mind for sure.

He never stayed up late only if there was something that was bugging him so much and something was bugging him for sure and he didn't know what to do at all he wasn't sure James was a person who was rarely unsure about things but one of these things that he had no idea what to do he was worrying and he was still up because of what is going through his mind so while he was thinking James would sit on the couch he was trying to think of a plan or something to do about this little problem of his, however, him sitting on the couch went to him laying on the couch James was overthinking about this too much he was worrying a lot because he honestly had no idea to do about this whole mess he is in with himself.

James sighed "I just don't know what to do! Do I pop the question to Lily or not!? I just don't know what to do this shouldn't be hard what I want to do! So why now!?" He just couldn't figure it out and did not realize why he was having this complete problem it was bugging him so much and he just couldn't sleep on it since he knew that Lily didn't know that he wanted to propose to her even though the two have been dating only for some months he then looked at a letter that James had opened up earlier knowing it was from Regulus then it finally came to him and realized so he would sit up quickly also then gulping it had hit him.

He looked at the letter he realized why it was hard for him to make this decision one person was standing in James' way of making his decision "It's because of Regulus..." he sighed again but he would pick up the letter he was trying to figure something out his feelings were coming over him he felt like there was an ocean and a bad storm there his feelings and emotions were going to attack him but the way he felt for both of these people that he has loved and cared for but also had feelings for so he didn't know what to do he was silent for some minutes hell the only thing he could hear was silences that is the only thing he could hear for hours on end in the night he would look out the window he could see the moon he looked at the silver bright moon for some minutes he was having trouble to figure out what he wants to do but for years James felt like he needed to be someone his person and not be what people want because of who his father is.

However, he kept on looking at Regulus' letter he was in the hardest situation of his life "Do I go to the castle to meet Regulus and see the darker side of town or just stay here and wait until the ship is done? I just don't know anymore I just can't figure it all out..." James then put the letter down "Wait no....that isn't a good decision but....it's either between Lily or Regulus...it's either I have an affair with Regulus and not let Lily know or just don't have an affair at all...I just can't figure it out at all this is all too difficult for me to figure out. But...either way, I need to find a way to think this all through because...my decision has been made for sure...and I don't think it's a decision I may regret in the long run in the end..." He would get up from the couch to get a piece of paper and would write on it he has always liked Regulus when James first saw him it was something he had to hide the truth of how he felt but he also loved Lily for most of his life as well so this was quite hard for him to overcome this situation.

Once James finished writing the letter he sealed it up and wrote Regulus' name on the seal of the letter before sitting back down on the couch a long sigh came out from him James couldn't hide his feelings deep down anymore or pretend like it wasn't true feelings he was going to admit the truth. To Lily? No. He couldn't do that one bit it would break her and James' hearts for that to happen he was going to hide this relationship with Regulus so he didn't hurt Lily's or Sirius' hearts James just didn't want to betray either of them but he wants to try something else he wanted to be with Regulus for so many years James' heart was longing for Regulus ever that day he met the two black brothers but he wasn't going to admit the truth to Lily at all he just couldn't not one point he loved Lily so much he just wanted something more for once.

This was something that James wanted to do he was going to have an affair that no one would see coming this was his choice but he wouldn't know what the future held for him he would pick up the letter he wrote then Regulus' letter and hiding both of them in a place that only James knew once he hid the two letters and making sure that Lily wouldn't find out about it but before he would go upstairs to bed James went over to the window he decided to close the window than looking through it seeing that the moon wasn't so silver as before James gave out one last sigh "I don't know what will happen...but whatever happens...I know I will have hell to pay if any of this gets found out...but I doubt it because not a lot of people care about what happens with the captain of the most famous ship around...only the famous pirate of the ship aka Sirius..." He then would close the blinds "Let whatever this decision begin...I'm starting to regret this already...but no turning back...I can't rush love or this relationship...but popping the question to Lily can wait..." James would then walk away from the window and he went upstairs to his and Lily's bedroom to sleep.