KAISE JAANE DOON TUMHE!!

chapter 37

It was February. Mornings were getting brighter. It was one fine morning when Swara dropped Sanskar to gym. His physiotherapist had approved a little exercise to gain back his muscle strength. Afterall, he needed to resume his post as ATS chief soon.

"I am Sorry for last night Swara! I yelled at you for no reason." Sanskar said while leaving the car.

"It's okay!" Swara said with a smile. But deep down, Sanskar knew that she was still reliving the pain of separation from him. He was healed almost completely but in this healing process, he had let down Swara many times. In last few months, it had become his habit to yell at her for no fault of her own. It was not like that he was easy with other family members but didn't know why, his outburst happened on Swara only.

"Sanskar!" Swara's words broke his trance at once.

"Yes!"

"You will love me always na?" Swara asked with innocence.

"Yes!" Sanskar said and pecked on her lips, "I will always love you."

He looked at Swara's car going away from his sight. But her words made Sanskar uneasy. Had he made her so insecure that she started questioning his love for her!

"Definitely Sanskar! Look at the way you are treating her these days. Not only her, but whole family. Your anger made even your mother cry many times. Little Ashna had stopped talking to you." Sanskar's mind snapped at him.

He had met Doctor many times. Rajat always said with a smile, "It is a phase and it will pass!"

But this phase waa breaking his family, especially Swara. Being yelled almost everyday by him was not easy. Already his anger was dangerous and now, he felt like it had increased to thousand folds. His rage used terrorize even toughest criminals. He couldn't even imagine what Swara was going through facing this rage everyday.

Sanskar always felt the guilt whenever he yelled at someone. This guilt made him more angry. He always apologized for his harsh words, but sometimes damage had already been done.

"Beta! I can understand this phase. It is tougher than we can imagine. But at least try to avoid anger sometimes. Look at Swara once. Just like medicine, she is taking your harsh words three four times a day." Ram was trying to make him understand after an event of immense yelling happened at the dinner table. Swara's fault was not so big. She was just asking him to have another roti with ghee. And for that reason, she was yelled at for good 10 minutes. Controlling, dominating, nagging and what not she heard from him. But in response, she just kept mum and held her tongue.

"I know papa! I am more than wrong. I have become a terrible son, father and an evil husband. I don't know what should I do!" Sanskar was at the verge of crying. "You all did so much for me and I couldn't even return a single favour."

This thing was taking a toll on Swara too. She was trying to comfort him with all her strength, she was trying to make herself understand too, but what about her own pain!

It was the morning of valentine's day. Sanskar had joined his duty two days back. He was getting ready for his office when Swara came out of washroom.

"Happy valentine's day Swara!" Sanskar wished her with a hug.

"You too!" Swara planted a kiss over his cheek. It was after a long time she found Sanskar in a good mood.

"I am sorry Swara! I promised to give you a good life but all you are getting is yelling and scoldings from me. Trust me, I don't want to do any of this." Sanskar said while hugging her gently.

"It's okay! It's a phase!" Swara assured him. But more than him, she sounded like assuring herself.

"The file I was working on, where have you kept it?" Sanskar asked.