Three weeks passed from that incident, Sonu's harsh words .
It seemed like misfortune and evil forces had found their target in me these days.
It was a dark day of my life.
Yes, probably darkest day of my life so far.
It Still haunts me like a nightmare .
The pain, hoplessness and desperation I felt ...I still cannot break free from that memory , that nightmare.
At the same time, that was a day that changed my life forever.
I got a phone for myself just one week back. As they promised my parents gifted me a phone in my 16th year.
In this fated Saturday, I was exploring some " stuff" with my phone. Yes , you are right, but what do you expect from a 16 year old boy with a brand new phone?? I was searching for some porn sites from the phone.
In that unfortunate day I had forgotten to lock the door. My father suddenly came to my room to ask for a charger. I was just about to start a video in that moment.
A tissue paper box and a tub of Vaseline on the table, phone with the headphones on . My father's eagle eyes suspected something at once.
" Shane!!" He shouted
" what are you doing. Give me that"
he grabbed the phone from my hands before I could do anything.
" Is this what you do with the new phone??" Shouting at me he quickly scanned the search history.
" Father, no!! It's personal " I tried to stop him in vain.
Within seconds his anger changed into an unbearable rage that can burn me alive.
" what the fuck is this?? Answer me??"
He shoved my search history on my face. It's full of "gay porn videos " or " gay sex" ..
I didn't have anything to say.
Raising his hand he violently slapped me. The metal taste of blood could be tasted in my mouth.
" Answer me. Shane. What the fuck is that?"
He smashed my phone on the floor. It shattered into many pieces.
"Don't tell me you are a fucking faggot!!! "
He dragged me to his room grabbing from my shirt collar.
...............
Two hours later I was back in my room.
Crying hysterically . No one was there to console me .
My back was buring with bruises of whip lashes from his belt .
My face is swollen and red with a black eye on right and I could continously taste metallic taste in my mouth .
Even my mother didn't stand up for me.
" what are you doing ? Stop beating him"
At first she came running to my father's room and tried to grab the belt from his hands. But my father pushed her away , even her head hit on the wall with a "thud" sound .
" This is your fault too. You spoiled him too much . Look what is he now!! A faggot !! "
" A what ? "
My mother was unfamiliar with such vocabulary .
" Do you know what he watch from his phone all day?? Videos of two men fucking each other ".
There.
Those words had done it.
My mother looked at me with widely opened eyes. What was in that eyes?
Disbelief ?? Disgust??
After that she merely retreated from father's room . She didn't try to save me anymore .
It pained me and broke me to pieces more than anything else.
That look in her eyes . And not trying to stand up for me. Her choice to remain silent !!
" It's not my fault that I'm gay"
I shouted with pain. Tears were rolling down from my eyes.
" And I'm not ashamed of it"
My words enraged him to the end. He furiously beat me with his belt. Slapped me. Insulted me with filthy words.
Finally declared that I'm not their son anymore and l'm already dead to him.
Then leaving me on the floor , he rushed out of the house. I could hear his car creeking out of the gate. Probably he had gone to the bar, to drink senseless .
What he would usually do in a bad mood .
With difficulty I dragged my self down to my room.
I still couldn't see my mother . Is she in her room?
Suddenly I realized now i don't have anyone in this world. My parents had banished me from the family .
Is being gay a crime ? Do I deserve this merciless beating ??
Suddenly I realized that I didn't want to be here anymore . Under this roof. Where no one loves me. Where No one understands me. Where I recieved such physical , verbal and mental assault from my own father . Where my mother didn't even try to save me.
Drying my tears, summoning up the all the courage left , I tossed some clothes in to my school bag, grabbed all the money I had with me . No use of my new phone now. It had scattered in to pieces.
It's 7.00 at night . My house is in dead silence .
I quickly sneaked out of the house and started to run ..
Run and run...
But to where??
Where can I run?
Who can take me now?
My uncle Dev lives too far away .
I dont trust any other relatives..
I think of Vinura . He lives too far away too. And he had rejected me. Refused to turn back my feelings telling all the nonsense . Said he doesn't have any feelings for me.
Sonu. No. We are not close anymore . And She finds people like me disgusting ..
I only have one person .
My best friend .
My first love ...
My life line at the moment ..
My safe heaven ..
Menul...
I took a taxi to go to Menul's house .
