Withering moon lit rose

Chapter 44

The two days of Atsushi's rest were up and Dazai had finally woken him. He wasn't as startled as he expected him to be, but the question he asked was.

"Where is Akutagawa?" It was so calm. No panic in his voice, it was as if he already knew. But the look on his face betrayed his voice, he looked so nervous.

"He's in his room. You can go see him if you'd like." Atsushi didn't even thank him; he just threw the covers aside and raced out of the infirmary.

"Heh, good luck." Dazai muttered to himself, deciding to abandon work and go annoy Chuuya instead as the redhead had today off.

The apartments weren't too far off from the agency so Atsushi managed to get there relatively quickly. Once outside the door he felt slight nerves, what if he was wrong. What if he had died and Dazai was being kind by telling him he was in his room. Atsushi shook his head at the thought and pushed the apartment door open.

"Akutagawa?" He questioned expecting some form of a response. But he was met with silence.

"Hello? Is anyone home?" He questioned again, maybe he hadn't heard him the first time. But he was met by silence once again. He made his way into the bedroom expecting to find the two beds but the room was nearly bare with just a few cardboard boxes piled up. This confused Atsushi a great deal. Was he moving? Why? The agency apartments had all the basic facilities they needed. Atsushi checked every cupboard, drawer and storage device there was in the apartment. He even checked the bathroom but nothing was there.

Atsushi was about to head back to the agency to question anyone else who was there, but he then noticed a folded piece of paper on the kitchen counter. He quickly unfolded it, the words written upon it was 'Port storage' that had been where Akutagawa had hidden Atsushi before he tried to sell him to the Guild.

Atsushi felt awkward recalling that memory, it was weird to think he'd fallen for the man who tried to sell him off to some people. Although Akutagawa did explain he never planned to bring any harm to him, Atsushi wasn't entirely sure of the man's words. He had torn off his leg in the past.

Atsushi began to make his way to the port, it struck him as odd not running into any agency members. When he eventually arrived there he had no clue what he was actually looking for.
Akutagawa himself? Another note? He felt like he was going on a wild goose chase but thought he should go along with it.

After wandering between cargo boxes for a while Atsushi was starting to get fed up. There was nothing here! Just as he was about to leave he saw a piece of paper had been thrown on the ground.

"Seriously... This is what I'm looking for." Atsushi unfolded the paper once more and saw a restaurant name upon it. It was the same one Dazai and Kunikida had taken him to the day that they met. But if Akutagawa had been writing these notes why would he send him to that specific restaurant of all places.

Atsushi brushed the thought aside and decided to make his way there. When he entered he felt reminiscent of the place, three years ago his life had been changed and now he was back here.
There were no obvious notes so he made his way over to the front desk. He asked if a man with black hair with white tips had entered the building recently. The woman at the front nodded and pulled a note from underneath the counter. Atsushi opened it and found another location. The riverbank.

With reluctance he made his way there, why did he have to go to the place where he'd passed out before fishing Dazai out of the river. If he was lucky Dazai might have gone swimming again and he could pull him out to question him. Atsushi shook his head at the thought, Dazai admitted he would never try dying the same way more than once. That and last he'd spoken of suicide he said he wanted to die with a beautiful woman. Wait, but he was married to Chuuya. How would that work?

Atsushi brushed the thought aside and slid down the hill so he was at the edge of the river. He peered over the edge and saw nothing. He sighed in relief slightly.

He then heard a brief cough from behind him. Atsushi turned around and was met with Akutagawa, he looked perfectly fine. No injuries visible on him.

"Atsushi I-" Akutagawa stopped his words when he saw Atsushi had begun to cry. It didn't look like the younger even realised he had started crying, he just looked so shocked. Like he was seeing a ghost.

"Atsushi are you-" Akutagawa questioned, worried he'd done something wrong, but his words were stopped by Atsushi launching himself at him and hugging him tight.

Something landed in the grass not far from the pair.

The pair ended up on the ground with Atsushi pulling himself closer to Akutagawa with a tight hug.

"You're alive..." He muttered into his chest. It seemed he didn't quite believe the reality of the situation. Akutagawa began to run his fingers through Atsushi's hair, it calmed him in a way.

"Yes. I am." Atsushi let go of Akutagawa momentarily so he could sit up but as soon as he was he hugged him once more, his head buried in the crook of his neck.

The pair of them being like this felt so natural, despite their past. Atsushi felt so relaxed when he remembered something. He quickly released his arms from around him and grabbed his shoulders. This startled Akutagawa slightly but the determination he saw in Atsushi's eyes left him unworried.

"Akutagawa. The night you nearly died you said something to me. And I didn't return the favour." Akutagawa was initially confused at the man's words. But then he remembered.

'I love you...' The words coming back to him made a slight pink grow across his face. He didn't know how he was able to just say that to him. Although he was pretty sure he was going to die that day.

"Atsushi I... Um... Well I-" Akutagawa felt useless fumbling over his words.

"No, let me speak." Atsushi was determined to get his words across and wouldn't have Akutagawa deter him. The black haired male nodded and allowed him to continue.

"Akutagawa. I-"

"Ryuunosuke," Akutagawa interrupted, Atsushi looked at the man with a questioning look. "I've been calling you by your first name. It's only fair if you do the same." Atsushi nodded in agreement.

"Ryuunosuke. I love you. I have done for the past three years and even though I've been cruel to you this past month and you have no reason to forgive me. I ask that you-" At hearing those words every fear Akutagawa had felt in what he had planned melted away. He kissed Atsushi. It was a short chaste one but it got across the words that both of them had been struggling to express.

Eventually the pair of them got to their feet. Atsushi was now reluctant to let go of Akutagawa's hand.

"So I guess we know what we are to each other now." Atsushi joked, Akutagawa gave a small laugh at his words when remembering him asking that question. To think that had only been a month ago. And now he held his hand and was able to express how he actually felt.

The pair was about to leave when Akutagawa remembered something. He quickly began to scan his surroundings until he saw the small box he had in his possession earlier. Atsushi quirked an eyebrow at the box.

"What's that for?" Akutagawa gave a faint smile and dropped down to one knee. Atsushi was left speechless. What was he doing?

"Before you panic it's not a wedding ring. It's something similar." Akutagawa was wanting some kind of reaction from the other but he was just frozen in shock, he couldn't comprehend what was happening.

"Atsushi?"

"Y..Yes... Go on..." He managed to spit out while trying to recollect himself. Akutagawa opened the box to reveal a silver ring. It looked as if it was knotted at the top, and Atsushi thought it was beautiful.

"It's a promise ring. After everything that's happened, I thought that I should give you something to... To show how much you do mean to me..." Akutagawa's face was slowly growing redder by the second. He had practised this many times over with the help of Dazai. But now he was fumbling over his words.

"So will you accept this?" He questioned, all his fears rising up again. Atsushi gave a small nod, he was genuinely struggling to comprehend everything that was happening. But he knew one thing for sure.

He was the happiest he'd ever been. And Akutagawa was the one who'd made this possible.