Withering moon lit rose

Extra 2.8

"I'm alive..." Akutagawa muttered to himself as he looked at his hand with the heart monitor linked to his finger. It was the middle of the night at this point and all Akutagawa could see was the few stars illuminated through the window. He quickly leaned out of the bed and disabled the heart monitor before pulling the pin off his hand; he didn't want to alert Yosano or anyone else.

As he tried to creep out of his bed he felt something pull at the hem of his shirt. When he looked down he could see the brief outline of a hand gripped tightly. With an exasperated sigh he carefully released the hand and managed to sneak away, he'd much rather be in his apartment than in the Agency infirmary. It was starting to become a second home to him and he didn't like that idea.

"God it's cold." He complained as he stepped into the streets, he couldn't find his coat so he assumed someone had taken it to his home already. He was about to quicken his pace when he felt something drape over his shoulders.

"Then you should wear a coat then." Akutagawa pulled the coat closer to his body as he slowly turned around. It was Atsushi.

"What do you want?" He questioned in an emotionless tone. Atsushi was incredibly worried that this was already too broken to fix, but he had to try.

"I came to apologise."

"For what exactly?"

"For treating you like this..." Atsushi felt the words in his mouth freeze, why couldn't he just tell him. He'd been planning this for months, so why couldn't he just say it.

"Well, I'm waiting?" Akutagawa was not in a good mood, the last he could recall was being at Gin's house but not much more. All he knew was that there was currently a slight discomfort in his stomach.

"This was not how I wanted to do this..." Atsushi muttered under his breath as rummaged in his pocket for something. Akutagawa was becoming more impatient, it was cold on the street and he wanted to go home.

"So as you know I've been working a lot of extra shifts." Akutagawa nodded at the man's words. He felt a slight fear creeping in the back of his mind, he quickly shook it aside and listened to Atsushi.

"Now the reasoning behind it was one I was wanting to wait a bit longer before asking. But after everything that's happened recently I think now is a better time than any." Akutagawa was confused with his words, he thought his boyfriend might be going insane.

But when Atsushi dropped to one knee it all began to click for him.

"Ryuunosuke Akutagawa, you have cared for me since the first day we met. Even if it was rocky to begin with, you were willing to sacrifice yourself for me time and again. And I hope that you'll allow me to do the same for you in return, so-"

"No." Akutagawa began, he stumbled backwards, he tripped over his own feet and crashed to the ground. Atsushi felt his heart shatter at those words, he hadn't even got to the question yet.

"No, no, no, no, no. No! No! No!" Akutagawa began to shout and cry while pulling at his hair. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. He didn't deserve this. Atsushi shouldn't be settling for him. He could be with that Lucy girl, she'd probably treat him kinder than he ever had.

Before Akutagawa could gather himself and make his escape Atsushi grasped his wrist.

"Why?" He himself had tears running down his face. He thought they both wanted this, he'd given him a promise ring nearly a year ago. If he was saying no did that mean it was a lie giving him it?

"It shouldn't be me. You should go with someone else, someone... Better..." Akutagawa managed to croak out, he tried pulling his wrist away from Atsushi's grip but to no avail.