A Missed Opportunity

6

❃𝙺𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚊❃

"Mommy, I think your pants are too tight."

"They are. Thank you, Cameron." I grumble as I shuffle back into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me before I shimmy out of my too tight pants.

"Maybe you should get new ones." Cameron murmurs through the door. I glance at it. He sounds like he's pressing his face right up against the spot between the door and the door frame just in case I can't hear him.

I toss my jeans off to the side and pick up my pajama shorts again. "Maybe." I agree. "Get away from the door, I'm opening it." I warn before I open it. I sigh when he knocks his head on the door frame. Not even the door while I'm opening it, but the frame. Somehow.

"Owww," He starts to whine as he reaches for his head. He looks up at me to see my reaction, but I stare back at him with a deadpanned expression. When he sees it, he drops the I'm hurt, but not really routine and turns to walk off.

"Okay," I breathe as I approach my bed and peek into the box of jeans yet again to try a different pair. I guess the ones I just tried on were in the wrong pile during the move. "Cameron, I asked you already to go get dressed. Please go get dressed." I remind with a glance his way.

He frowns at me then down at his Batman pajamas. "Why can't I wear Batman?"

"Because we don't wear our jammies when it's not time for bed." I answer. He's asked me before and always gets the same answers, I don't know why he keeps going.

"Where are we going?"

I sigh. "To go have lunch with Grammy, remember?" I remind. "Cameron, go get dressed. I'm not going to ask again." I warn. He still pouts, but he ultimately turns to march away. He's sure to let me know he isn't happy about it though.

__________

My son is a smart boy. He knows right from wrong, knows that sometimes there's a grey area. and understands that other people think differently than he does. He also knows that as a kid as young as him, his words and actions have a profound impact on what people around us think about us.

He uses this knowledge for evil.

He gives me weird looks when I tell him to do something, as if to ask 'Why is this random lady talking to me?' He then proceeds to look at the nearest lady who he decides is a mother like she knows. That usually ends up with her skeptically watching our every move just to make sure I'm not some crazy person that has kidnapped him.

"Quit doing that." I grit out on a whisper as I grab his hand to start leading the way towards the table my mom said she'd be at.

He stares up at me like I'm a fucking alien. I scoff and continue to pull him along. Cameron seems pretty proud of himself for pulling that off, glancing over his shoulder curiously while we go. Probably to see if that woman is still watching him.

He soon lets go of my hand though when he spots Mom at a table. "Grammy!" He calls out desperately, like they've been separated for ages and he's been locked away in a dungeon somewhere. Mom happily showers Cameron with hugs and kisses when he slides into the booth seat beside her. I roll my eyes with a little smile while I get into the seat across from them. "Grammy, Mommy wouldn't let me wear Batman." He snitches immediately.

My jaw drops while Mom frowns and looks over at me. "He loves his Batman." She reasons, hugging him closer.

"He can't wear his pajamas to lunch." I reason stubbornly. Cameron frowns up at Mom like not wearing Batman is the end of the world, overly dramatic about pretty much everything.

"Oh, it's fine." Mom scoffs, waving me off. I only shake my head in response. "We're still waiting to be called." She hums, turning her attention back to Cameron. "You can go play." She dismisses.

He grins and quickly slides out of the booth. I watch him with a small smile while he happily runs off towards the indoor playground, leaving Taffy with us for safe keeping. Last time he took her to an indoor playground, she ended up lost in the gross ball-pit. And then he had to sit sadly by the washing machine, watching his best friend swirl about surrounded by clothes that need to be washed.

Mom looks at me as soon as he's out of ear shot. Her smile softens as she tilts her head. "How are you, dear?" She asks.

I let my shoulders deflate. "Scared." I honestly offer. "Mostly for him." My gaze drifts over to my son who's already beginning to make friends before he's even fully made it to the playground.

"He's a strong boy. He'll recover." Mom reasons. It's something I know, but still don't really want for my son. I don't want to put him into a position where he needs to recover in the first place.

None of this has been fair to him, and I think I knew that from the beginning. My own fears of repeating history made me freeze up though, and now we're all dealing with the fallout.

"And him?"

I look back to her and frown deeper. "That's the worst of it all." I mutter. "He's sober now. He's not even a little mean." I shamefully continue. "We've been texting, and all he's worried about is hurting him. He's letting me decide when we set up a meeting because he knows I know when Cameron will be the most open to it."

Mom tips her chin up. "What you choose to do now is what matters, nothing else."

Choose. Another choice I'm faced with, just as difficult as the last.

"He's going to start school soon." I mutter as I look down at the table. "I want to just slip Mommy's new friend in before he starts so he doesn't think anything of it." I decide, looking to her cautiously to see what she'll suggest.

Luckily, she nods. "Good." She decides. I smile a little. "It's about time this mistake is fixed." She adds on a little hum while she looks over to check on Cam. I frown at that.

My mom was against me moving without finding Noah. She thought it was wrong of me to take that opportunity to know of each other away from them just because I was afraid of what could happen. She hated that I moved away from her too in the process of fleeing that possible life. Which is why she made me give my son apart of his dad—His middle name.

I figured she was right but couldn't bring myself to stop my plans. So, I did whatever else she told me to do for my son.

I have to admit, I'm beginning to rethink my choice. Something tells me that if I had managed to find him, he'd have done something other than ignoring me. Maybe he would've gotten sober sooner if he knew.