A Missed Opportunity

67

❃𝙺𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚊❃

I wasn't really taught all that well as a kid. I'm not talking about my teachers at school, I mean my teachers at home. The ones who were supposed to teach me manners and things.

My mom did what should for me while being a little broken herself, but even normal parents in normal circumstances miss things. It's natural, to forget to teach someone something you don't realize needs to be taught. It's easy to forget that these little ones are new to the world. They don't know the world and how it works yet, so they make mistakes that you don't think is even possible.

One thing that I did learn though—I picked it up from my mother. She did this thing. It was quiet, but I could always visibly see it.

She looked for the other shoe. You know, the one that's supposed to drop unexpectedly and ruin everything? She always looked for it, and it always came without fail.

I guess I just started doing it too at some point. So, now I'm thirty and always looking for something that will inevitably go wrong and blow up my whole life. It's not like I do it intentionally, and I usually only realize it until after the fact.

I'm trying to unlearn it before my son picks it up the same way I did. And unlike my mom, I have someone to help me do it.

I blink a couple of times when my space is suddenly invaded. Without thinking, I just shut my eyes and kiss him back when he pecks my lips. After Noah pulls away, he smiles at me. I feel his hand resting on the small of my back gently, grounding me with just a quick kiss and a warm touch.

Somehow, he sees it before me. I imagine it's a lot like how I always saw it in my mom's face. The slight crease between her brows, little wrinkle of the pull and curl of her lip, the quizzical look in her eyes as she tried to figure out when our lives would blow up in our faces.

Tonight, I can't even tell what I'm thinking will go wrong. The boys made a fort on the living room floor with blankets I just folded and the couch cushions. Gus is rolling around in said blankets, growling to himself with a big smile that has his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Cameron grins widely at the tv, immediately clicking on The Dark Knight on screen to play it. Over his shoulders is the Batman cape his dad got for him last weekend while they were having some quality time together, trying to squeeze in as much time as they can with just them until Cam's new sibling comes and they'll have to share their dad.

What could possibly go wrong during a family movie night?

I don't even try to theorize on that question, drawn slowly away from it as I feel myself melt some at the way Noah smiles at me. His eyes dart rapidly between mine, waiting for me to come back fully before he leans in to kiss me again. His way of welcoming me back.

"Come on." He hums as he guides me closer to the little fort. It's really just a blanket bed with a bit of a canopy so we can still see the tv. I take both of Noah's hands when he offers them to me, using both to hang on tight as I slowly get down on the floor.

And now I'm here for the rest of the night because I sure as hell am not getting rid of all the hard work I put into getting down here in the first place.

"Cam, give your mom that pillow, please." Noah nods over to a thick, stable pillow that seems to be a part of the base of the fort.

Cameron knows how important that pillow is to the structure, but he goes over to carefully retrieve it for me anyway. He's come to really understand how careful we all have to be from now on, and takes it pretty seriously. Surprisingly. He takes after his dad in that aspect, unable to always take something as seriously as I'd hope. But this—this—they both take very seriously.

"Thank you, Cam." I smile and sit up. He tucks the pillow behind me against the bottom of the couch so I can just lean back against it.

Cameron continues to stand and sway around while the tv loads, anxiously waiting for the movie to start. In the meantime, Noah comes over to sit beside me on the ground, leaning up against the back of the couch too. It's almost purely out of habit that his arm lifts to wrap around my shoulders. I don't really even think about it either, letting myself slump up against his side.

As soon as the movie begins, Cameron runs off away from us. Gus scrambles to chase after him. Cameron returns pretty quickly though with a pink bucket of popcorn I'm pretty sure Noah just finished making. He must've forgotten it in the other room though.

Eagerly, Cameron comes on over and collapses roughly into the small space between Noah and me. Noah's quick to react, removing his arm from around my shoulders to catch Cameron before he can land on me too much. The space was big enough for him to be able to squeeze in though, he really couldn't have landed on me that hard or that much. Even still, Noah directs him to mostly lay on top of him and just lean on me some.

Gus is more careful. He shuffles over and drops down beside me on a pile of blankets I was about to grab. He makes it hard for me to dismiss him so I can take them, laying down beside me and sweetly dropping his chin onto my belly. He likes poking at my belly with his nose.

He's gotten in trouble with Noah for trying to lay on top of me entirely, so he's settled for just dropping his head there. Noah still tries to shoo him away, but Gus knows I always wave Noah off and tell him to leave the poor dog alone.

"Careful, Nut." Noah reminds on a hum as he adjusts Cameron some.

"Sorry." Cameron responds absently, already too invested in the movie while it starts. He's seen it dozens of times—It's his favorite. He offers me some popcorn from the bowl.

I smile as I let myself lean on Cameron like how I had been Noah before he sat between us. Cameron doesn't mind it when I drop my head on his shoulder, even adjusting to make it comfortable for the both of us. Noah, meanwhile, sighs deeply. I giggle to myself at the sound, and Cameron just ignores him like he never heard him.

There is nothing wrong with my picture. It's not perfect, but it's not meant to be.