A Missed Opportunity

47

❃𝙺𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚊❃

Maybe it's a bad idea. Maybe my heart will be broken in a couple of months, and maybe I'll want to move away somewhere quieter than this and just not be able to.

It's all too tempting though. I've been over it in my mind over and over...and I can't bring myself to be happy with the no answer. I feel the need to stick with it though to avoid that broken heart and the urge to run away from it.

So, yeah. Maybe I'm stupid for it, but I've decided that I'm okay with the outcome that could come through since I'll have done it to myself.

This is what I try warning myself with as I slip my heels on. He said dinner but didn't say where at, so I'm kind of taking a shot in the dark here. I figure I can never go wrong with my favorite pair of black jeans and a cute, black backless long sleeve shirt.

I'm not even a hundred percent sure he's downstairs right now. I haven't texted him about anything other than Cam—briefly—in, like, days. I told myself I wanted to go, but I still didn't really tell him that in case for some reason I...changed my mind. It would've been awful of me, but I couldn't say it wouldn't have been possible. Besides, Noah told me he'd be down there at six and if I came, then I came. If not, he told me it would be okay.

I guess I'm just wondering if he gave himself those options too. Like maybe he's told himself that if he doesn't want to be there, then he won't be, and I'll be the one left standing out there waiting for no one in the cold. It would be fair if he gave himself the same options. Actually, it'd be a little upsetting if he didn't.

There's really no way to find it if he's really down there without going down myself, so with a deep breath, I leave the quiet apartment to make my way downstairs and outside. Luckily, Cameron's friend conveniently invited him for a sleepover Friday all through Sunday afternoon, so he has no idea what we're doing tonight. I doubt he doesn't know something's happening between us though. He's too observant for that.

The walk down the stairs and outside feels longer than it actually is. When I make it out there, the cold air hits me like a slap in the face, and I wonder just what the hell I'm doing. That part of me that told myself to just say no and let things fall into their safe places urges me to turn around and go back inside before I can see if he's even here or not. That part of me somehow manages to force my foot backwards, taking half a step back to go back inside.

My cheeks tingle and feel like they're probably turning pink while my eyes dart around, trying to find him to hopefully stop myself from going back inside. It doesn't take me long to find him just a car down on the curb from where I stand in the middle of the sidewalk.

My heart races with anxiety even after I make eye contact with him. He stands beside the passenger door of his car with a bundle of the darkest red flowers I've ever seen. I'm not even close enough to see what they are, but I decide I love them.

Our breath comes out as little puffs of white smoke. For a moment, we both just stare at each other as we realize we made the same decision tonight.

He smiles.

I swallow as I start stepping closer. He meets me halfway even though he doesn't have to."You're early." He points out curiously.

"All I had to do was walk downstairs. What's your excuse?"

"I just really wanted to see you."