A Missed Opportunity

20

✧𝙽𝚘𝚊𝚑✧

I've been gone for one week and things have already changed. My son calls me Dad, somehow looks a little taller than the last time I saw him, and he leaves his unicorn at home when we leave to get a Christmas tree.

And his mom won't stop giggling at her phone every five fucking seconds.

Cameron doesn't notice that as much as I do. Every time he looks at her and talks to her, she finds it in her to look away from her phone to give him the attention he needs. But when I try to get mine, she's suddenly in the middle of texting him and responds with something boring. Maybe that's because she thinks I'm an adult who can entertain myself.

Well, that's bullshit. I deserve attention too. To be acknowledged is a basic right that I have.

She doesn't even watch me while me and one of the guys working in the lot lift the tree Cameron picks out over the car roof. She's not looking, so she's not completely impressed when I figure out how to tie the tree down all by myself because the fucking guy has 'other people to help'. She only acts impressed when Cameron beams at her as he reminds her of what they did last year for their tree. Apparently, Kiara paid some weird guy in the parking lot to tie it up there. Even Cameron is smart enough to acknowledge him as weird.

As I turn to Kiara to smile and give her a playfully hard time about hiring some weird dude to tie their Christmas tree up to her car, I blink and drop the smile. She's not looking at me or her phone. Instead, she's smiling down at Cameron and catching his hand to bring him to the backseat. I sigh when she opens the door to get him inside, entertaining a conversation with him about how we're going to decorate the tree tonight.

With a dry expression, I reach over to open the passenger door for her. She's smiling and still talking with Cameron as she climbs in, only offering a quick and quiet thanks to me once she's in. I toss the door shut behind her and lift my hand to absently scratch my brow, glancing around before I round the front of my car to get to the driver's side.

Kiara doesn't pick her phone up again the whole drive back to their apartment, but she never looks my direction either. She happily haves a long conversation with Cameron though. And normally, I wouldn't mind that because he's my son and she's his mom—How am I going to be jealous of my son talking to his mom? But tonight, I just want her to at least look at me. Say something more than a quiet thanks when I do something casually nice for her.

I wanna be acknowledged for longer than five seconds. It's annoying me how much I care about having her attention, but the fact is, I do care. It's not fair to me that she suddenly is too busy to give me five minutes of her time, and I start wondering if it's always been like that or if things have changed. My money's on things have changed. That's because there's apparently someone else that makes her smile other than our son, me, and my sister.

My sister doesn't make her smile nearly as much as I can. Let me just make that clear. I love the kid, but she's simply not as funny as me.

Cameron makes her smile more than the both of us. Combined, probably. But that's fine. I accept my defeat in that one.

__________

Once we get back to their place, I make myself let go of the stupid jealousy. Tonight is about sharing that moment that I've always thought was the picture of a happy family. Decorating the Christmas tree. I didn't think I'd have my own little family to do it with, and I always figured I'd piggyback off of my sister's family or my parents.