Random brainrot (Mostly SMG34)

Splatoon AU - Free At Last

why did one of you request a part 2

my autism is forcing me to write it now

~~~

(3rd person POV)

Miserable was the best word to describe SMG3 right now. Well, not really, it was more like miserable-looking. 

SMG3's two back tentacles were tied in a crooked ponytail, dripping ink. The larger, split one that hung in front of Three's left eye was more annoying, though, because it kept blocking his vision no matter how many times he pushed it aside. Cod, how the fuck did the soldiers fight like this? It didn't help that the Octoling also had no real gear aside from his one Octobrush.

He weakly splattered the ground with an attack and melted into the puddle to refill his ink. He almost didn't want to go back to his Octoling form and just stay here, but he had a journey to complete! 

If only he'd been able to figure out how to change the NSS's Superjump spots...then maybe he wouldn't be trudging through an ugly fake plastic forest. Why did this place even exist?! No one cares about the random-ass things Octavio put around here to mimic the surface!

SMG3 sighed and rubbed the ink-splotch wounds on his arms. He was a fucking idiot to think that once he was free, none of the soldiers would notice. He could just walk through Suction-Cup Lookout like nothing happened.

Well, nothing he could do about it now.

He just wished...they didn't use that stolen Low-Tide ink, the kind that stains you. So you can't just heal by submerging in ink.

What do I do now?

Nothing mattered anymore. Why did he ever leave?... No...he couldn't go back, he could never go back... why was he thinking like the Hypnoshades were still poisoning his mind? He wondered if he was broken. Would he have been fixed right if he heard the 'heavenly melody' everyone was talking about?

No. There wasn't any time to think about shit. He just had to run and keep going and not stop until he was at the surface before the Low-Tide ink seeped in-

There- there it was, he found it! Cephalon HQ was his last hope. They had a way for him to get to Tentakeel Outpost, right?! He didn't know if it was true, but he had to believe...there it was, a Superjump launchpad...

He...he had to reach it before...

No-

He collapsed to the ground and cried out in pain as the Low-Tide ink, having finally taken effect, twisted his body. Melting, melting, melting into something- something small and purple and so helpless without access to an Octobrush, or any allies...

The last thing SMG3 saw before he passed out was a group of Octolings headed toward him...

And...behind them all, faintly, a rush of blue ink...

~~~

"<He came from, uh, Octoling Strike, I think...but I found him in Cephalon HQ...>"

An Inkling voice.

It all sounded like gibberish to SMG3, who only understood Runic. But there was something about this Round that sounded...familiar.

Oh shit it's Agent Four-

The Octoling started to panic, quickly sitting up before the pain all over his body came back to him. "Fuck!" he hissed, squeezing his eyes shut. 

"[Oh, he's awake!]" said another Agent. SMG3 didn't recognize her, but she had long orange tentacles and a Splattershot. Unarmed and not knowing how to defend himself against an armed opponent like this, he didn't move. He just sat there in fear, but it looked more like defiance because of his resting bitch face.

And then...wait, how many people were here? A...another Octoling(?!) was here, this one had long pink tentacles pulled up in pigtails. She didn't look like she had any weapons, which was unusual for an Octarian, but maybe she wasn't from the Canyon. Maybe the Valley? No, not that either... she was walking up to him now.

"Hey, you," she said. Huh. She was. Very tall. And intimidating. Like she didn't even need a weapon to splat someone. "Do you speak Runic? I'm assuming you do, right?"

SMG3 was glad to finally be able to understand someone here! "U-uh, yeah, I do! What's going on? What are they saying?" he asked, his eyes darting from person to person, trying to make sense of whatever the fuck was going on.

"Calm down, we're not your enemies. I'm Saiko." Saiko. That was definitely not a normal Octarian name. "And those people over there are Mario, Luigi, Meggy, and Four. His name wasn't originally Four, but he changed it because apparently he was named after a fucking meme so when he joined the Splatoon-" She stopped herself mid-sentence. "Well, that's for another time. Anyway, you can chill out."

Saiko, Mario, Luigi, Meggy, and Four. Had they saved him? They weren't out to kill him? SMG3 heard the NSS talking in a mix of different Inkling scripts. Everything about this was unfamiliar and wrong, but what could he do?

After a moment, Saiko turned back to Three. "What's your name?" she asked. 

"It's-" SMG3 just now realized how weird his name must sound to these people. "It's...SMG3. Short for 'Strike Map Guardian 3', I guess. But that must sound weird to you, right?"

Saiko snorted. "You must not know a thing about the Splatlands. Ever since they gave us the option to use a fake name in battles instead of your legal name, people have been naming themselves really weird things. With any luck, people will just think it's some kind of reference to a fandom they couldn't care less about."

Oh. Well, that would make life easier...wait, what? They were just going to let him through? To Inkopolis? "Wait, you're just...letting me through?"

"Uh, yeah. You're not gonna murder anyone, are you?"

"No...?"

Saiko turned to Four and said something in Halfmoon. I took a moment to look around at my surroundings, and I saw that Tentakeel Outpost wasn't as horrible as all the other sectors. I was sitting on a green blanket right now, leaning against...some kind of wooden shack, Inkling in design. There was blue ink everywhere and I spotted three training dummies to my right. No enemies in sight, since this sector was nearly empty except for a few people left in the Kettles, but no one aboveground.

Mario's loud voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and Saiko came back to me. "Well, there is one thing. You've probably already realized that you won't be able to fit in right away, with just Runic script and no money." That was true... 

"Well," I began, "what are you saying I should do?"

Saiko didn't say anything for a moment, thinking about how to respond. But then Four spoke up, in Round of course, but Saiko's face lit up. "{Really}?" She grinned. "Well, Four just volunteered to help you. He has more free time on his hands than any of us, so I guess it makes sense. Anyway, I have a life, and more importantly, a job so I'm gonna go back to the rest of Deep Cut-"

"Wait, wait, wait-" I pointed to Four. "-THAT guy? Is gonna take me to the surface? Not that I don't like him, but...I watched him splat my fucking coworkers, like...a million times!"

I waited for Saiko to translate, but then she said "Well, that's too bad. He's the only taker here." God dammit, I... I guess I should be thankful for this situation. I guess...

Still glaring at Four, I stood up. "Well, I don't really have a choice. I'll be fucking killed if I go back and fucking killed if I aimlessly wander around Inkopolis (not really, that's just what he thinks since he grew up in Octarian cities), so FINE. I'll go with you...SMG4."