The Walking Dead Eye For An Eye: Trilogy

What To Feel When You Don't Want To

(Clementine's Pov)

-Two Weeks Later-

I was sitting by the grave again as I look at the marker. I had a beer in my hand and I take a breath when I hear the others.

"Hey Clem, um... mind helping?" I hear and look to AJ and I nod as I get up.

"Sure, what's up?" I asked and set the bottle down by the grave and walk over to him.

"Well.... We need to go in Violet's-."

"No, we aren't cleaning it out, sorry but not now." I tell him.

"I get it, sorry but we also need to get some seeds, the cabbages went bad." He says.

"We don't have spare seeds?" I asked as we walked to the truck.

"We thought we did, but it's artichokes we have." He explained.

"I wanna come." I hear and look to see Liz running up to us and I nod as she hops in the truck and I look to the gate a bit and I rubbed my eyes.

"You, ok?" Liz asked.

"Yeah just... I'm fine I promise." I tell her as I start up the truck and we exit out the gate. I just drove to the old general store and looked around a bit.

"So... What uh... God I don't know what to talk about anymore." I laughed as I placed my hand to my head.

"It's fine, you're still mourning." AJ says and I look at him and sighed.

"It's not.... I know she's gone; I've just been... out of it." I tell him and I look to the road as I parked the truck and we go inside and look for any seeds.

"It's fine." I hear and I sighed a bit and we grab what we can. It was the last of the seeds in the store and I see an isle filled with Liquor bottles and I go over and see they're empty and I stare at the bottle a bit.

"Mom." I hear and look to AJ and he looked to me.

"What?" I asked and looked to the bottle and laughed a bit.

"Oh this? Shit wouldn't get anyone wasted." I say as I dropped the bottle breaking the glass showing it was empty and I take a breath.

"Do you think you should... stay away from that stuff?" He asked and I look at him.

"I don't have a dependency on it, don't worry." I tell him and we head on over to the truck and drive back to the community. When we did end up coming back the gate was opened and I drive through. I pulled up to my house and I park the truck and I lean back in the seat and then got out with AJ and Liz. I then headed to the back yard again and I look to the grave marker and I take a seat and grabbed the bottle.

"Hey." I hear and look to see Minerva and I sighed and I look back to the grave.

"Sorry I'm just... I'm just... I don't know why the hell I am feeling like this." I tell her as she takes a seat next to me and I look at her.

"Care to explain?" She asked and I took a drink.

"I never mourned like this, it feels weird, like really weird." I tell her and I look to the grave.

"I've never felt so.... Useless, like I don't want to do anything anymore." I tell her.

"Depression is a bitch." She says.

"But that's the thing, I don't get depressed, I'm not allowed to be depressed, I've lost so many people over the years, I've delt with this shit, why am I feeling like this?" I asked.

"Well let's be fair, you and Violet have been married for a very long time." She says and I look at her.

"And you and her have raised a family, so you lost family member, a wife, a partner you've dealt with for so long, AJ lost another mom, Liz lost a potential second mother... it's just... it's just that, you've been with them for so long you know so much about a person and when they're gone... you just... you just lose something." She says and I look at the grave and I take another drink.