The Things I Never Said [To You] | inksmoker

01/12/2017 - 06:42pm

I'm trying to sleep tonight,

my world almost abandoned and 

my presence almost non-existent.

My thoughts continuously clash again the chaos of my skull,

my mind blank but filled with words to form.

My dreams are threatened with the raise of her voice,

my future is brought in question

causing a glassy reflection in the pupils of the girl mirroring before me.

I'm trying to sleep tonight,

my heart already broken and

my soul tearing away.

My eyelids dropping as though carrying a heavy burden,

my eye sight blurry as salt-like water rains down my face.

I'm trying to sleep tonight,

but I'm terribly failing. 

My cries are louder than the sound of angry parents beeping their horns,

the hushed condolences of the blowing wind

and the alarmed monotone of the ambulance from somewhere outside.

My pain is deeper than the suffocation of a slashed wrist,

the venom of an opened wound

and the burn of a candle-lit fire from somewhere inside.

I'm trying to sleep tonight,

haunted by fear

and tempted with ideas,

to rid myself from everything around me.

My body stays cold,

pale against the darkness of the night

I wish for a remedy but it's not yet here.

My fingers shaking whilst clearing the smears of makeup

dripping down my cheeks,

welcomes with a heart filled sob 

that doesn't sound like me;

I tremble between my flowered sheets,

trying to escape from everyone around me.

Scrunching up my legs to my chest,

I'm trying to sleep tonight

but their heartbreak rings in my being

a screaming lullaby