The Things I Never Said [To You] | inksmoker

October 2022

My definitions of love in any relationship, when you decide to commit, whether it be to family, friends or romantic relationships has become one. It is unconditional. For me, it is where you would go above and beyond for their joy. You would end distances to be there for them in their hardships. You would do more than would for anyone else to protect them, to care for them, to love them, you would fill your capacity for them. For those people you love, because you know who they are on the inside and their goodness is more significant to you than the faults they make. The hurt they give. The apologies they give, to them you give significance. I do think unconditional love is necessary sometimes, because in love or relationships like family and marriage and friends who value you like treasures- you have to forgive, you have to look out, call out, work with each other to be better because that's what it means to unconditionally love. That's what it means to be there in the highs and lows, for better or for worse. Otherwise without unconditional love, we will love but the question will remain, until when? 

December Update:

Unconditional love is also what we must do to ourselves, as much as we do to others. When our mental health is put at risk, when we are put at risk for the other person that we want to unconditionally love, Step back. Stop. Think about yourself. Do you deserve this? It is okay to walk away then. It is okay to love a little less, enough for it to remain healthy. That is also unconditionally loving. Caring about them whilst you care for yourself too. Unconditional love can become unhealthy when it is one sided. As long as it will remain unconditional from both ends, efforts and forgiveness will continue. But remember, when it starts to hurt more than it gives you joy, Step back. Love a little less.