The Things I Never Said [To You] | inksmoker

21.05.2017 - 05:45 PM

It's​ ​a​ ​new​ ​day

And​ ​today

I'm​ ​writing​ ​again​ ​after​ ​what​ ​seems​ ​like

A​ ​long​ ​period​ ​of​ ​time

And​ ​i'm​ ​just​ ​writing​ ​what​ ​i​ ​feel

Should​ ​be​ ​said.

Things...

That​ ​have​ ​got​ ​to​ ​me

Lately

And​ ​they're​ ​bugging​ ​to​ ​be​ ​read.

So​ ​first​ ​thing,

Why​ ​do​ ​you​ ​say​ ​that​ ​you​ ​care

When​ ​really​ ​you​ ​don't?

Why​ ​do​ ​you​ ​say​ ​that​ ​you​ ​understand

When​ ​really​ ​you​ ​never​ ​have?

You​ ​just​ ​pretended​ ​to​ ​be​ ​the​ ​light​ ​in​ ​the​ ​dark;

The​ ​angel​ ​sent​ ​from​ ​heaven.

You​​ ​played​ ​your​ ​formality​ ​as​ ​a​ ​friend,

supposing​ ​it​ ​was​ ​enough​ ​and​ ​then

Left​ ​me​ ​to​ ​my​ ​condition.

I​ ​dealt​ ​with​ ​my​ ​problems​ ​alone

In​ ​numerous​ ​ways;​ ​some​ ​more​ ​distressing​ ​than​ ​others

Maybe​ ​because,​ ​it​ ​was

Too​ ​much​ ​for​ ​me​ ​to​ ​bear

Or​ ​because​ ​you​ ​would​ ​make​ ​your​ ​own​ ​assumptions​ ​on​ ​it​ ​anyway

Like​ ​you​ ​always​ ​did,​ ​assuming

My​ ​life​ ​was​ ​some​ ​sort​ ​of​ ​amusement​ ​for​ ​you

To​ ​be​ ​a​ ​part​ ​of​ ​but​ ​not​ ​to​ ​take​ ​much​ ​action​ ​about.

Second​ ​thing;​ ​you.

You​ ​made​ ​the​ ​nothing

We​ ​had

Seem​ ​like​ ​it​ ​was​ ​something​ ​special.

You​ ​cared​ ​enough​ ​to​ ​listen;

To​ ​what​ ​i​ ​had​ ​to​ ​say​ ​but​ ​maybe

You​ ​didn't​ ​understand​ ​either​ ​because​ ​if​ ​you​ ​did,

You​ ​wouldn't​ ​have​ ​left​ ​me​ ​wondering

And​ ​waiting​ ​for​ ​what​ ​you​ ​had​ ​to​ ​say...

You​ ​made​ ​me​ ​believe​ ​In​ ​something

That​ ​was​ ​more

Than​ ​an​ ​ordinary​ ​nothing,

You​ ​made​ ​me​ ​hope

In​ ​wishes

Like​ ​they​ ​were​ ​always​ ​heard​ ​by​ ​God.

You​ ​made​ ​me​ ​dream

Of​ ​a​ ​future​ ​i​ ​could​ ​only​ ​ever​ ​imagine

Now,

But​ ​you​ ​hurt​ ​me;​ ​like​ ​no​ ​one

Ever​ ​had.You​ ​ruined​ ​me​ ​slowly

By​ ​keeping​ ​my​ ​heart​ ​in​ ​your​ ​custody

You​ ​made​ ​me​ ​waste​ ​my​ ​energy:

My​ ​blood,​ ​sweat​ ​and​ ​tears...

You​ ​cared.

But​ ​you​ ​didn't​ ​care​ ​enough

And​ ​i​ ​have​ ​a​ ​lot​ ​of​ ​questions,

Questions​ ​for​ ​you

And​ ​you.

Number​ ​one,​ ​who​ ​do​ ​you​ ​actually​ ​think​ ​you​ ​are

That​ ​you'll​ ​throw​ ​it​ ​all​ ​away?

Didn't​ ​it​ ​have​ ​any​ ​meaning?​ ​

Do​ ​the​ ​memories​ ​have​ ​no​ ​real​ ​value?

Two.​ ​

Was​ ​i​ ​just​ ​an​ ​emotional​ ​rollercoaster

You​ ​had​ ​to​ ​put​ ​up​ ​with?

Were​ ​we​ ​just​ ​'best​ ​friends'​ ​by​ ​name?​ ​

Was​ ​my​ ​life​ ​just​ ​something

You​ ​could​ ​talk​ ​about?

And​ ​three.

What​ ​about​ ​the​ ​times​ ​when​ ​we​ ​actually​ ​had​ ​fun?

What​ ​about​ ​when​ ​we​ ​really​ ​considered​ ​what​ ​we​ ​said

Before​ ​we​ ​hurt​ ​each​ ​other?

What​ ​about​ ​when​ ​i​ ​was​ ​actually​ ​there​ ​for​ ​you

And​ ​you​ ​were​ ​there​ ​for​ ​me?

I​ ​guess

We​ ​cared.​ ​But​ ​we​ ​didn't​ ​care​ ​enough