The Things I Never Said [To You] | inksmoker

07/11/2017 - 10.25pm

07/11/2017

Lately I've been thinking too many thoughts

they eat me inside out

and the only way to get rid of them

if when I overdose

Lately my memories have me trapped

like I'm trapped within a balloon

I just float around with no air

then feel suffocated in the helium

Lately I haven't been feeling so good

the world just gets to me

my temples ache and assumptions collide

and I'm in between it all

Lately your words don't mean anything anymore

in from one ear but out of the other

my mind still stays blank from your assurances

and I do what I do just to hurt myself a bit more

Lately my scars seem darker than my blood

they peel away like unwanted crust

and become unknown and strange

like unfamiliar skin

Lately numbness has gotten the better of me

I can't feel the wounds on my heart neither can I provide some sort of healing

and then when it seems too much

it pains more than it ever has before

Lately I haven't been feeling alive

my pulse is there but the reason to live seems non-existent 

my body is there but my soul seems tied up to the ghosts

and I feel no one can be more dead than I feel this instant

*********

If you dig, you will find there are many reasons to live. Blessings that are often overlooked with the world's turmoil. You just need to find one that's good enough to keep you going and to motivate you to be strong. Maybe this one will be good enough- you are here because God wanted you here for a purpose. You can never go until He doesn't determine it, so with the life you have try to be happy, try to do things for you in search of joy and purpose to make your life worth living. If you were worthless or had no reason to live, God wouldn't put you on this earth. Find your meaning because you are full of life and it's waiting for you to embrace it. And finally, remember so many people are going through what you are going through because we are all human and this feeling is universal. You will never be alone in your situation ever.