The Things I Never Said [To You] | inksmoker

18/01/2018 - deteriorating mental health

It wasn't your fault

to hurt yourself

the world became heavy

your bad dreams became reality,

you were crushed of what you deserved

they allowed it to hit you

you cried for what seemed

like forever

loud-

your heart breaking with every second

you close your eyes 

but the one who promised to protect you

is all you see,

you want to block it all out

but your mother didn't even ask you

what was wrong when you sobbed past her

you turn to bad things,

because you don't care

14's the maximum

'don't take more than that'

but you took 25

because you don't care

how long will you let them

control your life,

why did you let yourself

fall for him,

he doesn't know

they don't know

how much you hurt

all alone

your pain is a self-prophecy,

maybe the cry of a broken heart you abandoned

now you feel how he felt

don't ask her what happened

it's okay-

she's just your daughter

it's only happened twice,

but they created this drama

it's only happened twice

but it was enough to hurt yourself just so that

it could end

the real truth

they don't know-

why don't you tell them?

they wouldn't understand

what's the point

you took pills

you threw up

you spat blood

they won't take you to a hospital

it'll all come back on you

just like it always has

you've never done it before

it's driving you mad

your eyesight's blurry, your mind is dizzy, your legs are shaking

get some control over yourself

your head is throbbing

your heart is breaking

maybe a tablet would help?

another two packets of eight in your pocket

take it

you could die

you know that

but will it matter to anyone?

you can only think of one person

but he is no longer yours

no one else seems to be bothered that you're here 

crying all alone

die if you want to

be assured someone loved you once

**************

By no means am I encouraging any form of self harm or suicidal behaviour. Please don't do anything like that to yourself because you are so beautiful and you are yet to experience the best. Difficulties can be overcome with the right mindset, prayers and love. Give love to yourself because God loves you and that's why he has chosen to put you through this test.  The greatest people are always tested with the hardest battles first, before the reward. Believe that you will overcome all hardships with faith and you will. Someone always loves you whether they are in your present or future, someone is grateful to have you and someone else wants someone just like you. Be strong, try and be positive, give room to hope and please don't hurt yourself

p.s. always tell the people you love, you love them and you care about them. if you are worried for them, be there for them as a listening ear and share your pearls of wisdom to keep them going x