The Things I Never Said [To You] | inksmoker

14.10.2018

what the fuck is wrong with you seriously

what the fuck

i thought yesterday might've been enough

but i guess fucking no

do you like what you're doing?

does it make you feel good?

with every one of us

it's like you don't give a shit

because you know at the end of the day

we're going to run back to you anyway

honestly,

i don't know what to feel

my emotions are all over

i'm angry, frustrated, i've had enough

but i feel so helpless, so powerless

like i can't do anything

i just sit there quietly and listen to you all

i want to fucking scream, i want to fucking DO something but i can't

you've had enough of me

my head is hurting

but then doesn't it everyday?

i'm hearing all these voices but i don't know

what the fuck to listen to

i'm alone,

alienated, cold

i need some guidance, somewhere to go

i'm home but right now it doesn't really

feel like home

you said we weren't part of your family

all i could think of was what the fuck

do you know what's going through me?

do you have any idea at all?

i thought yesterday maybe all that anger could die away but i guess no,

i guess we just can't fucking help ourselves

i guess we're meant for this fucking bullshit!

i tried to paint yesterday

tried to get it out

i couldn't do it, i couldn't paint anymore

i fucking hate this

my mind is welled up in anger

i'm fucking tired

i don't wanna fight, i don't wanna argue, fucking stop

not like we still argue

you just scream and i listen

the drama never ends, i can't help

but see it as that i'm sorry

did you notice i'm not trying anymore?

DO you? it doesn't really matter

really, i've had enough

i guess you shouldn't throw so much shit at someone

that they can't take

no one's ever understood that-

if we did

we wouldn't be doing the same goddamn thing

over and over

without even realising

we're fucking throwing shade

he says you care

but how can i believe it till i see it?

i'm not seeing it, i'm sorry but how the fuck do you want me to react

if care is the last thing you show me?

i know you care, who the fuck am i kidding

it's just when you act like that

i forget you have it in you

and it's not like you're trying either-

look at you

apologising, it used to come so easily to me, i was always the first to apologise

and now look at me

i can't feel sorry, i can't apologise to you

"i'm sorry" isn't how i feel, no

you make me angry when you say shit

that pushes me deeper into the sea

you're not supposed to do that.

you're not ALLOWED to fucking do that and yet

you do.

i'm sorry for the outcome; the way it turned out

but i'm not sorry it happened

what did you expect?

you can only hide shit for so long

and even then you lied

i don't know what to think of you

honestly,

what were you thinking?

but it doesn't matter

just another complaint to life,

i guess it is