The Things I Never Said [To You] | inksmoker

02.04.2017 - 09:55 AM

"What is true love to you?"

- Silence -

"True love to me ... i don't know. Listen all i know is people don't decide who they're going to fall in love with, it just happens. But what they decide to do after is their own choice; they know what they're doing, they know what's in it for them. I don't think that makes sense so let's just say i fall in love with this guy who i know is probably going to end up breaking me but i stay anyway knowing the consequences, i think love isn't telling but feeling... you get me? So like, let me give another example; i really like this guy but he says he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, but if i see that look he has whenever we make eye contact and if i see that gaze that just makes a person lose all common sense and feel like the clock's just stopped and if i see that worried look in his eye when no one else freaking cares; i won't believe it whenever he says no he doesn't feel the same way because i'll have felt that love from his actions. And although it'll hurt like shit every time he rejects my feelings and his own i'll know that deep down he's lying to himself and everyone else about what he feels for me and i don't know why but it'll actually give me hope; i think love is just like that...so deeply felt it makes sense. The examples i gave probably just sound like a normal girl and a normal guy who fancy each other but you know; when it actually happens to you, you feel it and later when you can't get him out of your mind or your thoughts or your prayers or your dreams, you know you've fallen deep for that guy and you know you're going to let him keep you hooked because it's just so new to you, it's like you need him, it's actually really freaking mind blowing and although you know he's probably going to destroy you and leave you ruined for everyone else, at that moment you don't care because you're seeing that guy as the one you want to spend your entire future with and he's the one that matters even if you're just 14 right then the rest of you 50 or 60 years you want to spend it with him by your side... and loving him feels good and although it hurts whenever he doesn't give you a second glance you tell yourself it's all good, it's fine. But when he looks right into your eyes and you see the sadness and the feelings you feel for him looking right back at you, you know right then that despite all the shittyness he's shown towards you sometimes, it's all gone and you know right then that whatever this is that you two have, no one understands sometimes not even you but you know, just seeing him look at you like you're the most beautiful creature in the world is the best feeling ever even if everyone else says it's a simple crush and tells you shit that tears you up, you know that this guy; the one you're crazy over loves you back because if he didn't: he wouldn't be acting the same way you do around him, he wouldn't give a shit about you and he most definitely wouldn't look at you like you're his world but he does and what he makes you feel is so beyond your understanding... freaking beautiful literally. Sometimes you get confused if it's the guy you're in love with or what he makes you feel."

-Silence -

#separation/judaai

~this is actually an excerpt from a conversation i was having with my friend once... and ya know i was so impressed with the way my mind worked i just had to put it here xD