Cold as Ice: The Heart of Stone

Chapter 30 - Colds & Coffee

A couple of days have passed. I still don't know how to feel about the whole selection thing. I actually feel a lot better than what I thought I would—in terms of not being a depressed sack of shit secluding myself from the world—maybe because Leah and the girls have been really supportive but as the season draws to a close it only dawns on me more and more that I didn't do enough to get selected. It's fucking shit. I guess I'm numb? Other than last year (for obvious reason) and the start of this year, it's the first time really since I was 18 that I've not been selected internationally.

I simply didn't do enough with the time I had.

Don't get me wrong, my hopes were never high...but there must have been something deep within me that had more hope than I thought with how crushed I feel. I still can't believe the announcement came a month early. I don't know why I'm that suprised with only one game of the season left for most WSL teams, if anything it actually makes sense they have done it early. I just don't like the thought of people seeing me hurt, that leads to vulnerability and I'll be damned if I'll let everyone think this has effected me the way it has. I may or may not have only allowed Leah to see that side; over last 3 days I very much cried to about the whole thing—multiple times. I just tell everyone it is what it is.

I couldn't really be mad at Leah for not telling me. I get it. If I was in that position and roles were reversed, I wouldn't know the best time to bring it up to her either, it's never nice for most people you know to be selected and you aren't.

Look at me...personal growth n all that.

The only thing that annoys me is the amount she apologises about it. Usually, with me if I say it's fine and genuinely mean it, it should just be left because I will just boil over in frustration and then usually say things I don't mean. Leah however, apologises at least 3 times a day, still. I just want her to believe me when I say it's okay.

Putting that asside, I was truly proud of Leah. I know she will stress about the captaincy, but she doubts her ability's way to much. She is an amazing player and maybe, an even better leader.

—

We beat Aston Villa 7-0 yesterday. The game was relatively boring for me, probably because I didn't get booked and there was no real explosion within the Villa team to attack against us at any point. So really, it was an easy match that felt more like a year 10 football game. I did however, put a lot of work in, nobody...and I mean nobody could say I didn't. I made sure I was where I needed to be on the pitch, completed almost every pass, experimented with switch plays and long balls, the lot.

I also scored twice, and they were absolute bangers if I do say so myself. Some videos have gone viral on tiktok about them (not that I have looked yet, Beth just updated me 24/7 because she has an obsession with that app, not as bad as Jen though—nobody could be that obsessed). The Lioness instagram announced the squad for the Euros and to my surprise, there was uproar in the comments about me not being selected. It got so bad, they had to reduce the comment section. I would be lying if I said I didn't look at those though.

Some that have stuck with me:

"Breaking news: The team selection committee must've had something in their eyes. They missed the obvious superstar! C'mon Sarina man, I need to see Rori on the field."

'Rumor has it that Rori Stone's absence from the team was due to a wild 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' match with the coach!'

'When your favorite player didn't make the team, it's clear they missed the memo about having the league's MVP on the roster!'

'Wait, did the selection committee accidentally leave out the 'Magical Skills' category from their criteria sheet? That definitely explains it! Nobody had assists like Stone, massive mistake.'