𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐥 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐊𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐳

Suffering in silence.

Jordan POV

The moment I hit the red button and ended the call, my tears fell like a feisty waterfall, water enough to end every dessert known to man. 

I feel so shitty about what I'd just done when I know he just wants to help, but I simply cannot bring myself to burden him with all my problems, not while he's away living his dreams, not while he's doing what he loves the most. not while he's happy.

My fingers hovered over the phone screen, the echoes of our conversation reverberating in my mind.

"Why can't I just let him in?" I muttered to myself, my voice cracking with the weight of my emotions. Tears streamed down my cheeks, a turbulent mix of frustration, guilt, and longing.

The truth was, I wanted nothing more than to pour my heart out to Bill, to share the turmoil that was tearing me apart. But the thought of burdening him with my troubles, disrupting his happiness, felt unbearable.

"He deserves to be free from this," I whispered through choked sobs, my emotions spiraling into a whirlwind of self-doubt and guilt. The image of Bill, smiling and living his dream on tour, clashed with the turmoil that raged within me.

I buried my face in my hands, the weight of my decisions pressing down on me like a suffocating blanket. Every part of me yearned for his comforting presence, for his unwavering support, but the fear of being a hindrance to his happiness held me back.

"Maybe I'm doing the wrong thing," I murmured, second-guessing my actions even as my heart ached for him. The silence in the room echoed the emptiness I felt, a stark contrast to the bustling life we shared when he was around.

"I miss him," I confessed softly, the admission breaking through the floodgates of my emotions. The ache of his absence grew more pronounced with each passing moment.

I rose from me and bills bed, heading down to the kitchen to get a glass of water, hoping to calm myself down a bit.

It didn't help, even a little bit.

"urgh, I need to drown my sorrow in food," I said to myself, going to grab my jacket and put on my shoes, I took the keys to bills car, I would rather drive his car than my own, for the only reason, it still smelled like him, it may be weird, but I was the clothes I could be to him other than wearing a shirt of his. 

Grabbing his car keys, I made my way to the garage. The familiar scent of his car embraced me, bringing a fleeting sense of comfort.

Driving to the store, I found solace in the rhythm of the music playing in my ears—Bill's music, which always felt like an extension of him. It was a bittersweet reminder of his presence and the distance between us.

Walking through the aisles, I mindlessly added items to my cart - essentials for the house, groceries we needed, but also an array of sugary sweets that would hopefully offer some temporary comfort.

Lost in thought, my cart accidentally collided with another, jolting me out of my reverie. I looked up, surprised, but my astonishment deepened when I recognized the face before me.

"Alex?" I blurted out, my eyes widening in disbelief. It had been so long since I'd seen her. Our eyes met, and for a moment, an inexplicable mixture of emotions washed over me - surprise, confusion, and a hint of apprehension.

"Jordan," she replied, her voice soft, with a tinge of uncertainty. Her expression mirrored my own conflicting emotions.

The air between us felt charged with unspoken words and unresolved history. Despite the distance I had tried to maintain, seeing her again brought back memories - both good and painfully challenging.