𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐥 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐊𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐳

That's just the Industry.

I was finally home after going shopping, It was supposed to be a little comforting, but ended up being so much more stressful than it should have been. 

plus not having seen her for years then suddenly she was just there didn't do any good either.

as I was slowly collecting myself and putting things away, my phone buzzed and the screen lit up indicating a message had come. then another one, and more after that. My heart began to beat twice its pace. 

My phone screen was lit up by Bill. The same boyfriend I had bragged about not so long ago, and here I was hiding from him. ignoring him as he's texting me. 

"hey baby, I haven't heard from you, what's going on?"

"Jordan, please."

"at least tell me you're okay, I cannot relax until I know."

my whole body froze as I read the texts from the Lock Screen, that way he didn't know I had seen them, and then I wouldn't have to answer them, who could I reply to something I hadn't read yet? Then it stopped for a while, and I let my breath out again, I dont really know why I had held it, it's not like he could hear or see me. 

My phone lit up once again, but this time, it wasn't a text message that had come through, but instead, Bill was calling me now. Here I was, a grown adult, staring at my phone ringing because im too scared and anxious to pick it up, scared for the conversation to come, not ready to be confronted by my actions and attitude. 

Most of all I didn't wanna pick up the phone because I knew I had hurt him. 

Bill POV

I was backstage with Georg, Gustav, and Tom. 

we're about to go on stage, but honestly? im feeling so shitty, I haven't heard from her, and im getting worried about her, she clearly wasnt okay, or anything close the last time I talked with her, and she didn't tell me what was bothering her, HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING KNOWING THAT?!

not only was I worried about her, but I was slowly growing more insecure about everything else. I was constantly "on" and I never really got a break. when we weren't performing, we were driving around on the tour bus, having meets and greets, and practicing. neither was I getting any good sleep, and you could hear it in my voice.

I had in a lot of resorts trying to call Jordan, not because I wanted to press her to tell me what was going on, but simply because I just needed to hear her voice again, it would calm me down, I needed to hear her say my name or even one of my stupid nicknames she had given me, hell, I would kill to hear her say anything to me at this point.

"HEY, Bill come on man! It's time, to put your damn phone down!" Tom came running, yelled at me

I sighed, put it down, took the microphone then went over to the rest,

"no luck now either?" Gustav asked me with sympathizing eyes. 

"no, I can't get through I," said,

It had been another failed attempt to reach Jordan. I'd been trying to call her during every break in rehearsals, hoping to hear her voice, to know she was okay. But each attempt had been met with silence, the calls going straight to voicemail. The growing sense of worry gnawed at me, intensifying with each unsuccessful attempt to connect with her.

"She's probably busy or something, mate," Tom reassured me, trying to lift my spirits. But his words did little to assuage the unease gnawing at my mind.

Gustav placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry too much, Bill. She's a strong one. She'll be alright."

I nodded, trying to hold onto their reassurances. Deep down, I knew they were right. Jordan was resilient, but the feeling of helplessness gnawed at me. The distance and the inability to be there for her in moments of distress weighed heavily on me.