My Sunshine

Chapter 21

Iris Pov:
All the kids were in bed now and I was washing the dishes from today. My mind wondered a million different places but I really just needed a break.
The only way to stop thinking was to sing and so I did so quietly. I turned around singing the lyrics and dried the cup. When I looked up I jumped and when I noticed it was Jax I softened but then I seen blood and I got worried.
He was covered in blood. Splattered blood and he was wearing his stupid sons of anarchy jacket and hoodie and those dumb ass sneakers he never takes off. Even when he was younger he loved white sneakers.
"It's not mine."
He speaks up breaking the silence and it is only then I realize what has happened. I sit the dish down and walk to Jax.
"Please don't tell me you killed somebody...I'm a cop I'm the last person you should come to."
He sighs and stares at his bloody hands fiddling with his large rings. "I know but you're the first person I wanted to see."
I pinch the bridge of my nose so many emotions running through me.
"Why?"
Was all I could manage to say even though the why wasn't just for the previous statement it was for everything that's been done.
He looked up at me but this time for the first time he had tears in his eyes. So instead of being mad I took him and engulfed him in a hug.
He immediately started hugging me back and as soon as he did sobs followed. Jax Teller was crying. He was crying to me. I wish he could remember his past and remember everything he wanted to be. He used to be a sweet goofy funny boy.
A few minutes later his crying calmed and he looked at me. "I'm a monster. I kill people I steal. I am a monster I left my son with you and murdered someone. I'm a mon-"
I stopped him immediately and began shushing him wiping away his tears.
"You are not a monster Jax I promise you that. You don't have to do this anymore you can turn the club into something more. You can be different. I've seen a part if you that wants to try you just have to act on it."
     He looked down at his shoes and I noticed tear droplets on the floor. "I can't be different Iris I was born into this. It is who I am."
      I cupped his face and forced him to look into my eyes. "This is not who you are and apart of you knows it."
      "How....how do you know?"
   I grabbed his hand and put it to my heart. "Am I a good person?"
     I ask gently to him. He looks at his hand on my heart than into my eyes.
       "Of course you are. You've a got a big heart."  
   "How do you know?"
        He thought about it for a moment then began speaking. "I've seen it I've seen you care for strangers hell my family is sleeping in your house Ellie, Kenny, Abel, and even Arllow. You took them in because you've got a heart and you care. Not to mention I feel it right now."
       I smiled up at him almost growing teary eyed myself. I took his hand and put it on his chest my hand following.
     "You have a heart too Jax and right now you're crying. You feel guilty. That shows you have a conscience. Monsters don't but you do. That's how I know you aren't a monster you're a good guy."
    He smiled and so did I. We stayed like that for a moment. Our faces began to grow closer together. It was like a pull.
      Finally he interlocked our lips and we began kissing.
    It was slow and soft. So many emotions were put into one kiss it was erratic.
     My hand began pulling his hair and his rubbed down my back to my ass. Wait! I can't do this.
     I pull away and both of us catch our breath. "I....I can't do this. You're confusing me. You kiss me you fuck me you sleep in my bed but then you yell at me and tell me you don't need me and then you show up with blood all over you and cry to me and kiss me knowing that's all i want but then when we wake up you will be that same asshole."
      "I....I am confused to. I don't know how to do relationship's  Iris. Either way you'll end up getting hurt. Damn it!"
    Flashback:
"Marry me?"
      I look up from my book tagt I was studying and up at Jax.
     "I love you but we've got to see where life will take us first."
   He sits up from the bed and kisses my cheek then pulls out a ring from his pocket. "I don't want to like a life where you ain't in it. No matter where we go I want us to be together. You've showed me so much and without you I'm nothing. So Iris Isabel Maria Stone will you marry me?"
   End of flashback:
      I jump as he yelled his feelings getting the best of him. He got his stuff and left slamming the door without saying anything more.
      The babies began screaming and I wiped the tears off my face and walked to the bedroom. I picked Abel up and shushed him. Arllow quieted the second I entered the room so she just stared up at me.
       Jax needs help I'm sure of that. I want to help him. It's going to be hard. I know I should stay away he's bad for me but a part of me wants my boy back. What if I could help get him back.
      Arllow cooed up at me and I kissed her head and laid Abel down. There's so many things I've got to worry about. I'm so stressed right now and I really just want to scream but I've got to pull myself together because even if Jax don't need me these kids do. I am their provider so I've got to get my shit together.
     I walked to the guest bedroom where Ellie and Kenny slept I watched them for a moment making sure they weren't faking.
   "What's going to happen to us. Our dads gone our uncles loosing his mind and our grandmas wants nothing to do with us."
     I knew it was Kenny by the change in voice but he didn't get up he simply starred at the wall in his head.
      I walked to him and bent down rubbing his head with my hand and letting him see me. "I'm here no matter what. If no one can get their shit together by the time I've completed my work then you Ellie and hell maybe even Abel can all come stay with me. It will be a new home and place but its what's best for you guys."
      He sat up and hugged me. "Thank you aunt Iris."
      I smiled and hugged him back giving his cheek a kiss. That's the first time I've ever been called aunt before and my heart warmed. It's then that I realized I couldn't be fucking around no more. This is serious if I have to arrest Jax then so be it. This is my job not some sick romance drama. This is reality and it's time I wake the fuck up!

    Hey guys!!! What do you think about the change? Will Iris have to take Jax to jail or will he get his shit together? What about the kids is Iris taking them to? Can she even do it?! I hope you enjoy lol 😚!!!!