𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎

18

kahmyla melanie winters

"but do you want me to be your girlfriend?" i asked amari while picking at my fingers and tugging on my hair. i looked at her and it looked like she seen a ghost.

she wasn't answering me. she was just looking around. "i'm guessing that's a no" i said while awkwardly chuckling. i'm ready to go home now.

"i do want you to be my girlfriend. i'm just not ready kahmyla" amari said while running her hands over her face. she seemed stress.

"it's okay i understand amari" i said while picking at my fingers again. i understand where she is coming from but im still upset. i should've never asked so early.

"are we still good?" amari asked while coming closer to me. i nodded my head while she gave me a hug. i guess ill have to calm down on the title "baby" since we both mean it in two different ways.

"you wanna get in the water?" amari asked me. i looked over at the pool and noticed more people got in. i wouldn't wanna be the only people in the pool.

i came here to just dip my feet in and i didn't wanna seem like a party pooper and not come. i really do not know how to swim.

"i d-don't k-know how t-to swim" i said while getting embarrassed and tugging on my hair. amari moved my hands from my hair and held onto them.

"don't get embarrassed kahmyla" amari said while caressing my hands. "it's not a big deal honestly. come on ill teach you".

she grabbed my hand and led me towards the pool. it's even harder to hide the smile she puts on my face since she doesn't want to be my girlfriend.

she hopped in the pool and left me standing. i backed up but i still got splashed with all the water. she rose from underneath the water and smiled at me. i smiled back.

"come on ill carry you in the water!" amari shouted. she must think just because she's in the pool i can't hear her very well.

i hesitated to even step foot closer near the pool. "come on i got you kahmyla" amari said while trying to convince me. i sat on my butt and my toes dipped in.

i reached my arms out for amari and she grabbed me. she was holding me by my butt and i felt some more butterflies enter my stomach. my face got hot and i had a goofy smile on my face.

"see it's not that bad" amari said while moving us in the water. i smiled while she did so. i saw aaliyah and sapphire coming near the pool.

"lift them hands up punk!" sapphire screamed at amari. i giggled while she did so. amari rolled her eyes and didn't move her hands.

"yall actually got in the water?" aaliyah questioned.

"what it look like?" amari smartly answered while mean mugging aaliyah and sapphire. they both flipped her off and walked over to the bar.

i was holding amari tight. i could see her try to loosen my grip but i held her even more tighter.

"let loose a little i won't let you go" amari whispered softly in my ear. my body shuddered and a let out a little moan. i lifted up one of my hands and covered my mouth.

i don't think she heard me because she didn't react. i placed my hand back on her shoulder and let a little loose. i was actually having fun.

amari lifted me up and placed me on the side of the pool. only my feet were in the water. amari was in between my legs while caressing my thigh. sometimes her hand would go a little closer to my area and i would get hot. i don't think she was doing it intentionally.

"don't think just because im not ready for a relationship means that i don't like you" amari sighed.

"my last relationship wasn't the best. it was actually horrible" amari said while playing with my feet. "i really like you and i don't want to make the same mistake with you".

i blushed at her confessing her feelings for me. "it's ok i understand amari. i really like you as well and this would be my first relationship so it's no rush" i said while smiling.

amari smiled back at me and when back to playing with my toes. maybe she does have a foot fetish. mani came back over to us. "moms here we gotta go" she said.

i nodded my head and got up. "are you going to walk me out?" i asked amari while i grabbed my towel and dried myself. i wrapped it back around me.

amari nodded her head while grabbing her towel. she grabbed my hand and hugged me. i walked over to the car and got into the back. "hey mama" i said to my mom and she said hey back.

"hi mrs winters! it's me amari" amari said while smiling and waving at my mama. "hello amari it's nice to see you. stay safe at this party" my mom said and amari nodded her head. my mom pulled off and i was waving bye to amari.

this time she was blowing kisses and i was catching them and placing them on my lips. sapphire was gagging while sitting next to me.

we got home and i hopped in the shower and washed my hair. once i got out i put on some pjs and ran downstairs to tell my mom about the pool party and what happened between amari & i.

i made it to the door but heard my mom arguing on the phone. "there is nothing wrong with kahmyla!" my mom yelled into her phone. "i don't care, you will not be coming to my house and treating my daughter like some weirdo" my mom yelled.

"she has a disability and if you can't accept that then don't expect to come around" my mom said while yelling some more. "you were a horrible mother towards me and i'll be damned if i let you be a horrible grandmother towards my kids" my mom yelled.

that was the last thing i heard before my mom hung up and swung her door open. i was standing there with hot tears running down my face. my mother looked at me and she started crying. she pulled me into a hug and held me tight.

i'm guessing she was on the phone with our grandma. we never see her much. i've seen her only twice when i was much younger. she would always pick at the little things i used to do.

when i would pull my hair or pick at my fingers she would yell at me and tell me to act normal. i never liked going to her house.

when i explained to my mother what my grandma used to do she when insane and cursed her out. we've never seen her since.

my grandmother would always make me seem less normal than others. it would make me insecure and scared to tell people about my autism.

i still suffer with that insecurity. i still wonder why i can't be normal like others and that feeling eats me alive.