❛ GHOSTIN' ❜ - 𝖼𝗆𝖻 ✓

letters to a loved one

(a collection of letters from drafted
scraps during the process of this book.
a chapter of closure to my love mollie.
i thank you for all your support <3)

nana,

you've been gone 5 years and i still don't think i've fully accepted that i haven't seen you in so long. there's been so many changes in these past few years that feel so weird without having you to tell them to.

for starters, i'm getting married on march 1st, he had the idea of making it october 17 last year so it was your birthday but that's your day. i don't want to stop celebrating you because im celebrating us. and yes, it is corbyn. he proposed in february of last year when we went away to new york in the middle of central park at 10pm, even double checked to make sure no one was around us at the time.

i now have 2 nieces and a nephew. iris, atlas and rhea (they have a theme of space names). iris is now 6, she loves spending weekends with me and corbyn and the twins are almost 3. weird to say but they are my pride and joy, those 3 kids feel like my break from the rest of the world and to see them so full of hope and love makes me want to do the same.

i have a healthy relationship. i know that sounds weird and you probably always thought it was healthy because you never really saw us argue. but i think there were some aspects of me and corbyn where things always seemed a little tense.

i realised now that it was how other people were viewing us, it was people telling us that we were toxic for each other when we knew we weren't. we work. he fits how i need to be loved and i fit how he wants to be loved. we both know we aren't very easy people and i think that's what makes us work, we know what it feels like to have people bail on you for being too difficult, and i never want that for him.

it's healthy, what we have. we communicate our needs and we go on date nights all the time and it's like that honeymoon phase except it's been like that for 4 years now. i can't remember the last time we argued, and although people tell me it's unhealthy because couples should argue, we never have anything to argue on.

we keep our relationship offline, and most of the time we keep it away from public eye too. i know there are some couples who love to post about their relationship and it works extremely well for them, like cara and daniel, but ours being showcased only made me feel anxious about what people could say or how they'd twist things, so corbyn suggested we kept it private and we have been doing that ever since.

we've been visiting you a lot too. on my 21st corbyn took me to the graveyard and we sat on a picnic blanket with you, grandpa and dad. he wasn't sure if he was ever going to be allowed there but he never realised that it sort of gave me closure.

i want to thank you for telling me to give corbyn a chance 8 years ago. i know i was stubborn and at the time to me he was just like every other teenage boy. but now i know why you saw something special in him when you met him.

i'll never tell him this because i know he'll bully me about it for days but he's turned me into a softie. he's saved me and he's made me happy and i don't think that would've ever been possible.

miss you more and more everyday, i love you.

mollie <3

––––

nana,

little update on my little life !!