love you later | yeonbin ✓

003

When Soobin gets home a couple of hours later, he feels significantly lighter. Sure, the question of whether he should cut his string is still on his mind, but once his head had cleared up a bit and he didn't feel like he'd have to empty his stomach every couple of minutes, the day had gotten a lot nicer. He ended up staying for lunch, spent some time watching a movie with Taehyun and Beomgyu before he finally dragged himself out into the cold January weather.

As soon as the door shuts behind him, he starts peeling off his layers of clothes, and after a quick shower, he feels a lot more human again. His head still feels a little heavy, and he's exhausted, knows that he's gonna have to turn in early tonight. Part of him is itching to reach for his phone to call his parents right this second. That's just nerves though, because at the end of the day it is his decision to make, and while he appreciates the support he gets from his friends and family, he wants to make sure he knows where he stands first.

So he sits down in front of his TV, ignores the topic for the time being by drowning himself in movies and take-out food. When it's finally late enough to go to bed, he walks through his nighttime routine once more; he makes a cup of tea, sprays his pillows with his fresh spray. His entire body sighs in relief as soon as he snuggles under the covers, the tension seeping from his muscles almost as if the soft mattress beneath him is soaking it all up. At first, he's a little worried sleep might not come easily tonight, that he's cursed to suffer the third night in a row where he gets little to no rest. The sound of raindrops against his window indulges him though, the patter creating a soft background noise that lulls him into a dreamless sleep within a couple of minutes.

A couple of days later, he finally feels like he's gotten it all out of his system. He has spent some time on his own, finally gave in to the thoughts of what cutting his soulmate string would mean for him. His bed still feels a little too empty at night, but he tries to be optimistic about it, tells himself that having so much space can be nice, too. If he wanted to he could wrap himself inside the blanket and there would be no one to complain about being too cold. It's a Sunday, so he has time to be lazy all day, but he still drags himself out of bed, gets ready for the day, and with a cup of hot coffee in a thermal mug he makes his way outside to Yongsan family park. It's a nice day, the only remainder of the rain from the night before gathered in small puddles on the concrete. The temperature is still freezing, but the sun is shining, and Soobin likes this weather the best. He's content, loves the way the cold air wakes him up while he also gets to soak in the sunshine. He can feel the way his nose and cheeks are gradually freezing up in the cold, knows he's probably carrying a bright flush of red on his skin. The park is quite busy, and it's no surprise to Soobin. A lot of families live in the area so it makes sense that they would use a pretty day like this to take their kids outside.

He lingers for a while, sits down on a bench between a pond and a playground. He has always loved people watching but most of the time there was a persistent taste of bitterness attached to it. It stings to see people wrapped up in each other, to be happy with their lives and the people around them; to experience love in all its facets.  Soobin is under no illusion that he's the only one suffering his fate, but that doesn't make it any easier. If anything, it just makes him angrier. Who decided who got to fall in love with whom? Who decided who had a soulmate and who didn't? It always seemed completely random to him, as if someone was rolling dice somewhere, maybe spinning a wheel and that was how people got matched up. Not that it didn't make sense; he'd seen it first-hand in his parents, Taehyun and Beomgyu - the people who got matched really were perfect for each other. What about his grandparents though? When his grandmother had a soul string mark but never met her soulmate? Was her love for Soobin's grandfather any less valuable? Any less real? Soobin knows it isn't, has seen the utter devotion and fondness in her eyes more times than he can count.