love you later | yeonbin ✓

029

The days start bleeding into each other. Mornings start with breakfast together around the kitchen table or outside at the pond, something Soobin grows fond of awfully quickly when he's not sleeping in. He's never been a fan of summer, never liked the stickiness and the way it always feels like you're not getting enough fresh air. But there is something about it out here in the woods that makes him feel pleasantly lethargic, one day fading into the next almost seamlessly.

He calls his friends more often, the presence of Wooyoung and San reminding him how much he misses Taehyun and Beomgyu, how long it has been since he'd last seen them. While the others are busy reading through what feels like a million books, Soobin spends his time in the greenhouse, sometimes with Yeonjun and sometimes on his own. Whenever the others take a break, they hang out together, playing games, going on hikes, even visiting the small town at the edge of the forest. It's a special type of satisfaction that runs through Soobin when he catches Yeonjun blushing while they're getting ice cream, and although he doesn't say it out loud, he misses the way it tastes on Yeonjun's lips.

The others keep him updated on the things they find out, ways to make the ritual safer the second time around and he doesn't have the heart to tell them that his stomach ties into knots every time the topic is brought up. It eases at the sound of Yeonjun's bubbly laughter, at the twinkle in his eye whenever he looks at Soobin.

With all the time they have spent together, Soobin drops the formalities with Wooyoung and San embraces them in his heart just as quickly as Kai when he visited, and it's a relief to know that Yeonjun has friends like them to look out for him. He enjoys their company, finds comfort in the way Yeonjun throws himself against Soobin with laughter whenever Wooyoung and San start play-fighting or bickering in front of them. It's a feeling he wants to make a home out of.

So it doesn't come as a surprise when his heart starts to feel heavy the night before Wooyoung and San are supposed to depart. It's not forever, they have promised to come back and make sure Yeonjun doesn't exhaust himself the next time he tries to cut Soobin's soul string, but it seems too long either way. It's the start of August, still months to go until Soobin would get to see them again, and as much as he loves spending time with Yeonjun alone, the house has been filled with sunshine and liveliness like never before.

They cook one last dinner together, bumping into each other navigating the kitchen, which suddenly seems too small for four people trying to help at the same time. They share a drink outside on the porch, and the sight of Yeonjun's flushed cheeks, the never- ending stream of giggles bubbling over his lips, etch themselves into the corners of Soobin's heart. Everything feels warm and fuzzy around the edges, one of those moments that he knows he will treasure for the rest of his life.

At some point, San starts dozing off, slides down on the bench until he can rest his head in Wooyoung's lap. Soobin is not far behind, the alcohol making him sleepy, so he excuses himself to go upstairs, presses a soft kiss to Yeonjun's temple before he leaves. He's almost inside his room when he realizes he forgot his camera in the kitchen. He'd been taking pictures all throughout dinner, had snapped silly shots mid-bite, and even though they wouldn't see the inside of a gallery anytime soon, Soobin is sure they'd be some of his favorite shots in his own private collection.

The kitchen is barely illuminated, a sliver of the candles burning on the porch outside flickering through the window. Sure enough, Soobin finds his camera sitting on the kitchen counter, just where he left it. He grabs it, sleep tugging him towards his bed, but it's the sound of Wooyoung's voice that makes him halt in his steps.

"So, what's up with you two?"

It's silent outside, and Soobin is afraid he's missed Yeonjun's reply but then it comes and he's suddenly wide awake.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Yeonjun," Wooyoung chuckles. His voice is soft, not a hint of accusation in it. "How long have we known each other by now?"

"About ten years?"

"Yeah. You've known Soobin for how long?"

"Around eight months."

"Hmm. Do you really not see it?"

"See what?" Yeonjun's voice is sharp, and Soobin doesn't have to see him to picture the look on his face. He's been on the receiving end of it before, knows exactly the tone Yeonjun will use when he's getting defensive only to immediately regret it. "You're different with him, Yeonjun." Soobin's heart stops at the emotion in Wooyoung's voice. "You're softer around him. I haven't seen you like this in a long time." He's quiet for a moment before he adds "No actually I've never seen you this way before."

"So what? We're friends."

Ouch. If Soobin thought about it rationally, Yeonjun isn't entirely wrong. It's not like they ever specified what they are to each other exactly, never mentioned the first kiss or anything that happened afterward. He doesn't want to be angry at Yeonjun, but bitterness sinks its clutches into his heart. He knows their relationship has an expiration date attached to it but whatever this is between them, it definitely goes beyond friendship in Soobin's heart.

"Are you trying to tell me that nothing ever happened between you two?"

Soobin holds his breath, wants to know if Yeonjun will go as far as lying to Wooyoung to keep face. Even before Yeonjun opens his mouth he knows that it would hurt worse than anything else he has said so far. Soobin is not exactly surprised that Yeonjun is getting a little defensive, a little overprotective, and it would warm his heart if it didn't feel like he was trying to hide Soobin away.

"Fine, so we kissed," Yeonjun admits, his tone still firm but not nearly as sharp. "But I swear, nothing else happened."

"I'm not accusing you of anything."

"I know. I just- I don't know. There's nothing to it, you know?" Yeonjun goes quiet, and the second he utters his next words under his breath, Soobin wishes he would have missed them. "It was just a kiss. Doesn't have to mean anything."

Soobin doesn't notice how tightly he's gripping the camera between his fingers until he accidentally presses a button and turns it on. It whirrs quietly in his hands, the little lamp letting him know it's too dark to take a photo without the flash. For a second, he almost has an out-of-body experience, feels like he's the one who's been caught in a snapshot, the blurriness in front of his eyes the remains of the bright flashlight.

In reality, he knows it's just tears blurring his vision. He doesn't need a photograph to know that his face mirrors nothing but the shattering of his heart, splintering into a million pieces and wedging themselves between his ribs. They puncture his lungs, make it hard to breathe, and it's all he can do to rush upstairs as quietly as possible, hoping that nobody will hear him.