love you later | yeonbin ✓

042

"You're an asshole, Choi Soobin."

Soobin can tell he's trying to look stern, to hold on to the anger he's probably rightfully feeling, but he's failing miserably. His voice cracks and at the sound of Soobin's name the first tear starts spilling over. It feels out of place but for the first time, Soobin feels his heart filling up, coming back to life, even as it's clenching painfully. It forces a weak chuckle out of him as he drops his head towards his chest.

"I know," he says quietly.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before he looks up again. Yeonjun is still there. Soobin wants to reach out and make sure he's real, that he's actually here, has somehow found his way to Soobin's apartment all the way across the country. But it doesn't feel like he has that privilege anymore, not after the way he had left things.

"I woke up that morning," Yeonjun says quietly, and there's a painful edge to his voice that burrows itself into Soobin's skin like tiny pinpricks. "And the bed. was empty. And I thought well, he's probably downstairs, making breakfast. And so I waited."

Soobin closes his eyes, pain crashing into him as he pictures Yeonjun waking up happily, unaware that Soobin was probably already halfway across the country. His eyes snap open again and he sees his misery mirrored on Yeonjun's face.

"But then I realized I couldn't hear any noise coming from the kitchen. Or anywhere else, really. It was... so quiet. And somehow, I knew. I had this," he gestures wildly with his right hand, "tight ball sitting inside my stomach. And so I got up, got dressed, and walked downstairs. And I was right." There's a weak smile on Yeonjun's lips but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"I ran back upstairs, went to your room because I was hoping I was wrong but it was empty. Completely empty, not a trace of you remaining." He takes a shuddering breath, stares up against the doorframe somewhere, clearly trying not to cry anymore, but it's futile because the next words make everything so much worse. "It's like you had never even been there. Like I just... imagined you. Except I knew that I hadn't, I couldn't have, because who could ever come up with someone like you."

He sniffles a little as his eyes drop back down to meet Soobin's. He wraps his hand around his own wrist, fidgeting a little. He's nervous, and Soobin jumps a little as his own hands twitch by his side, desperate to reach out.

"Yeonjun-"

"It took me some time to find the note," Yeonjun ignores his interruption. "I had to read it five times before it started to register. Really, Soobin? I'm sorry, I've changed my mind?"

Soobin opens his mouth to say something, anything, but Yeonjun doesn't seem to be done yet. There's a little more fire in his voice, a spark in his eyes. "After everything? That's all you had to say to me?"

"No, I-" Soobin starts and groans. "I was scared."

"Why didn't you just tell me? After I asked you so many times if you've changed your mind, if you wanted to keep your string, why wouldn't you talk to me? What did I do that made you leave like all we had was a stupid one-night-stand? Was that all it was to you?"

"No. God, Yeonjun, of course not, I- That's not what I was scared of."

Yeonjun frowns at him, some of the tension leaving his posture, and Soobin sighs. His hands are shaking and none of this feels real. Maybe that's why he finally pushes out the words that have been sitting on the tip of his tongue for months now.

"I'm in love with you," he says. Yeonjun's eyes go wide, his mouth drops open but Soobin only holds up a hand and pushes forward. "Before you say anything, let me just get this out."