Back at Step One (COMPLETED)

3. Simple Solution

Note to self: Crying doesn't solve anything. It only makes your eyes puffier, thus making other people wonder of the reason as to why you were crying.

Naisip ko to nung dinatnan ako ni Papa kinagabihan.

I went straight sa kwarto ko nung umuwi ako, not even intending to go out until I rot or something. But sadly, humans have needs, like food or water. And I didn't know na nandun si Papa sa kitchen nang mga oras na yun.

11 na yun ng gabi.

"O, gising ka pa?" sabi ni Papa. "Bat ganyan ang mga mata mo? Umiyak ka ba?"

Nginitian ko siya. "Hindi naman po. Medyo napahaba lang ng tulog."

He nods and thankfully, doesn't question me further. It's the good thing kay Papa. Hindi siya ganoon katanong. If he senses that you're not in the mood to talk about it, he won't bother on prying it out on you.

Kung ayaw, ayaw. Madaling kausap si Papa.

"Nga pala. Pa, bat pala pumunta si Mommy sa Ilocos?"
"Maysakit si Nana." He says calmly, going back on reading his book and setting his tea down.

That got me.

Nana is my Lola. She's Mama Val's  mother and I am particularly close to her. Well, was would be the right term. The last time na nakita ko sila was about ten years ago. I didn't even go to Papang's funeral, and I have an ultimate reason.

Hearing Nana's sick made me even sadder than what I was already feeling.

There's now Problem #7: My Grandmother is sick and I don't even know what to do.

I wanted to go back up and cry some more.

Ano bang ginawa ko at ganitong pinaparusahan ako? Then I stop myself because that would be an ultimate no-no.

No matter what, never question God.

Tama naman diba? Pero I was seriously asking this thing to myself. Why was I going on through this? I could almost hear life sneering me in the face and saying that these are all mandatory procedure.

Sheesh.

Nakatingin lang sa akin si Papa. Naalala ko magkaharap pa pala kami.

"Anon a daw po balita? Edi nakarating na si Mama dun?" tanong ko kay Papa.|
Nginitian ako ni Papa. "Kaninang mga 6, oo." Sabi niya.
"Long drive." Was all I could say.

I didn't even know what I was going to say. I don't talk much about Ilocos, and not one of them knows, but there was a reason why. It was also the reason why I don't even go back to that place anymore.

"It's not looking pretty good, by now." Sabi ni Papa.

Well, unlike me, Papa was straight forward. Hindi niya itatago sayo yung gusto mong malaman. And I appreciate that fact on him very well.

Umupo ako sa sofa sa tabi niya. "That bad?"
"Hindi naman." Sabi niya, flipping a page of his book. "Hindi rin ganoon kaganda ang sitwasyon. Mahina na si Nana. Alam mo naman kung gano na siya katanda diba?"

I sighed. Of course, I knew that perfectly.

"Then what are we still doing here then? Bakit hindi pa tayo pumunta dun?"

Tinaasan ako ni Papa ng kilay, I knew what he was coming on. Hindi ako ang sa pamilya naming nag i-insist na magpunta duon. Iniiwasan ko nga yung lugar na yun hindi ba? He doesn't say anything though. Kalmado pa siyang umiinom ng tsaa.