Back at Step One (COMPLETED)

41. Honesty

*THEA*

The first thing I saw when I open my eyes were a plate of cookies and a glass of milk.

The room was dark, naalala ko, the drapes were drawn in, and the room was not streaming in orange light from the slits uncovered by the drapes. Maggagabi na siguro.

Didn't bother sitting up, stretching in bed instead, finding my joints cracking dahil sa haba ng tulog ko. Ilang oras ba ang itinulog ko?

"You slept through an entire day." Narinig kong may nagsalita and I whirled around.

I see Kuya Gab sitting at the chair occupied by Jake kanina. He was looking at me intently.

"I didn't know you had that ability anymore." Sabi niya, leaning forward. "I thought you trained yourself to function with little sleep?"

"I did." I croaked, voice broken from sleeping. "I just didn't realize that I slept so much."

It must've been nearing dinnertime already. Bakit nga ba ganoon yung tulog ko. I remember Jake and I's conversation about my condition.

I sighed, not knowing what to do. Ate Kate, then Jake and then this. I'm thankful Jake and I didn't fight about me not getting help again, dadagdag lang yun sa mga away ko.

 Kuya Gab has been the closest person I've had as a brother, but with him not talking to me for a whole month now, hindi ko na alam gagawin ko now he's here in my room. My chest hurt.

"Kuya, I'm sorry." I start, deciding it was better than just sitting there and doing nothing.

"Can you tell me what for?" He asks.

"Sorry for disappointing you. For not being Thea anymore, and for being weak. I'm sorry for everything. Even for crying " sabi ko, running a hand sa mukha ko

He hated it when I cry. He specifically drilled that into my head when I was a kid. He said it's a sign of weakness, and doing that sa harap niya.

It's just plain admittance that I was weak.

"I'm sorry. I just can't stop."

He then does something I don't expect. He knelt down the bed, so he could see my face clearly. Nagulat ako nung hinawi niya yung buhok ko and he places a kiss on my forehead.

"Wala ka dapat ihingi ng sorry sa akin, Bunso. I'm the one who's sorry, Thea." He tells me, sitting down the bed. He  then pulls me up so he could hug me. "Patawarin mo si Kuya Gab ha? He's been causing you so much pain."

Naiyak na ako as I buried my head sa leeg niya. His hand running sa likod ko as he murmurs sorry sa buhok ko.

"I'm sorry for crying."

"You can cry." Sabi ni Kuya Gab. "Crying only means you can't handle it anymore. You've been strong for too long."

And I do. I just let my tears hit his neck. Hindi siya umangal dun. I felt his lips brush against my hair.

"Patawarin mo si Kuya ha?" He asks again. "I shouldn't have called you weak. You never were, but I thought I'd push you hard enough so that you'll get that you can become weak, but I didn't realize I was just being unfair. I'm sorry. " His voice cracks as he presses his lip on my hair again.

I missed him, I really did so all I could do was cry and hold him tightly. Isang buwan din, isang buwan. We didn't fight that long before, usually, it lasted just about one or two days. Wala akong ibang magawa kundi umiyak lang.