Map of the Soul 7 Saga Book 1 - Invisible

Invisible Chapter 19

My Yoongi is gone. I don't know if he'll ever talk to me again. Salty tears sting my eyes and roll down my cheeks. A Yoongi-shaped hole has formed in my heart. Namjoon watches me in silence.

I need to get away. Without looking back, I briskly walk down the driveway. In his drunken state, Namjoon tries his best to keep up with me. Sometime after Yoongi's house disappears from sight, Namjoon finally speaks up.

"Why did you lie?" His voice was so quiet I almost didn't hear.

A few seconds passed while I debated telling him the truth. I decide I have nothing to lose in doing so. "I love him, that's why. You can never tell him the truth."

"Why not?" Namjoon doesn't hesitate to question me.

"I'm not going to be the reason you guys fight. I'm still an ARMY. You guys are BTS. BTS and ARMY are just as important to me as Yoongi is. I don't want you two to fight over someone who isn't worth it." My words come out shaky, just as unstable as my emotional state.

Namjoon begins to say something, but I cut him off. "I'm not famous. I don't have a fanbase. ARMY needs you. I can't be the reason there's conflict between the BTS members. You guys need to get along for their sake. ARMY means so much to you guys, and they mean a lot to me too."

As I ramble, the tears flow faster. "So I'm doing this for you guys and for ARMY. ARMY has been my support just as much as you guys have been. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to BTS because of me. So please, never tell Yoongi the truth."

"Your secret is safe with me, I guess." Namjoon sighs.

I slow my pace so I can look Namjoon in the eyes. My own pleading with him. "Please, promise you'll try fixing things with Yoongi."

"You don't need to worry. We always make up; we're brothers." He assures me.

The rest of the walk is silent. Both of us are lost in our own thoughts and worries. Every so often, Namjoon would peek at me. His worried expression never left his face.

Namjoon attempts to walk into my building, but I stop him. "This is as far as you need to come."

With a heavy heart, I turn away and head inside. Namjoon's eyes can be felt watching as my body disappears through the doors. Once upstairs, I peer out the hallway window. Namjoon's figure is slowly fading away.

A black car pulls up beside him. I can barely make out a bodyguard exit the vehicle and open the back door for the idol. With one last look in my direction, Namjoon slowly crawls into the back seat.

I'm grateful that the guards had followed us. Even though I didn't show it, I was worried about Namjoon navigating the streets under the influence of alcohol. He may have caused many problems tonight, but I still care about him. It's not until after the car disappears down the road that I turn away from the window and silently go to my apartment.

Da-Eun notices my sour mood and early return. Respecting that I need space, she quietly informs me that Hudson is asleep and leaves without another word. The silence in my apartment is deafening. This is definitely not how I envisioned my night going.

As I make my way to my room, more tears well up. It's like my body knows my safe space is getting closer. My room is the one place I can break down without the worry of others. There's nobody to judge me there.

I undress and sink into the cold mattress. It wasn't that long ago that Yoongi's warmth was trapped under the covers. The thought of Yoongi sends a pang to my heart. A choked sob escapes me, and the floodgates open. My body trembles as all my pain leaks from my eyes. I cry all night, even after my throat burns and my chest aches.