Map of the Soul 7 Saga Book 1 - Invisible

Invisible Chapter 21

WARNING EMOTINAL DAMAGE READER DISCRESSION IS ADVISED 

I can feel a heavy sensation in my chest, and I'm not sure why. While most people are out enjoying their Saturday night, here I am, alone in my bed. Hudson is away at his friend's sleepover, which leaves me with nothing but my thoughts, and they are consumed with Yoongi. It has been a week since I last heard from him, and I long to hear his voice again. Tears stream down my face and onto my pillow.

I roll over and bury my face to suppress a scream, but it only makes me cry harder. I am desperate to hear from him. I have tried calling him countless times, but he never answers. Despite this, I can't take it anymore. I need to reach out to him, even if he only says one word.

With my phone to my ear, I wait with bated breaths. The phone rings and rings. Just as I'm losing hope that he'll answer, the ringing stops. I can hear rustling on the other end, and my heart leaps out of my chest.

"What?" Yoongi snaps with a cold voice.

"Yoongi." I almost cry.

I go to say more, but he cuts me off. "Look... I think that since you don't know what you want, we should just end things between us. I'm busy dealing with military stuff and my music. I don't have time for your games."

My heart breaks all over again as I listen to him. "Okay," I try to keep my voice steady, but it cracks.

On the other end, Yoongi huffs. "Is okay all you can say?"

Even though he can't see me, I nod.

"Fine. We are done then." With that, he abruptly hangs up.

We are really over, aren't we? A massive hole forms in my heart. I'm drowning in a new level of emptiness. What am I going to do without Yoongi?

With my vision blurred by tears, my trembling fingers fumble to press the call button. The call failed to go through, meaning Yoongi blocked my number as soon as he hung up. This is really it. He's done with me.

Loud sobs echo around my room as I curl into myself to gain even the slightest bit of comfort. My chest hurts so much, more than it ever has before. I feel a sense of impending doom come over me. Darkness hits me like I'm falling into a hole and can't escape.

I'm being buried alive by despair. My lungs burn, and my heart aches. The feeling of bile rising in my throat propels me out of bed, and I scamper to the bathroom. Throwing myself onto the floor, I begin to dry heave. My muscles tremble with the force of my gags, but nothing comes out.

The nauseous feeling goes away, so I lean against the bathtub. With my knees pulled up to my chest, I beat my palms against the floor. This breakdown is too much for me to handle. A scream bubbles up within me.

My hands come up and fist my hair. When I try to let the scream out, nothing happens. The silent scream is deafening, only seeming to reverberate in my head. Fear and loneliness consume me.

In an attempt to save myself, my hands tremble as I press the button on my phone. I call Namjoon. He's the only person who can comfort me. As my phone rings, I silently plead that he answers. Each second feels like an eternity. Finally, he picks up.

"Hello?" Namjoon slurs.

He's drinking. Since I'm in no state to deal with a drunk Namjoon, I wordlessly hang up. My head rests on my knees as I try to take a deep breath. I'm starting to hyperventilate. In my hands, my phone starts to ring.

I answer and weakly hold my phone to my ear. Through my sobs, I can faintly hear Namjoon calling my name, but I can't respond. Namjoon sounds panicked. Hearing him like this doesn't help. I feel bad for bringing my problems to him.