𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄, 𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ✓

17

Luke Hemmings

Walking through the campus, to the little coffee, where the boys, the girls and I usually meet, I saw the boys, but Kaitlin and Atlas weren't there, I saw that from the glass.

"Where are the girls?" I furrowed my eyebrows and Ashton looked at me. I couldn't really read his face, when Calum shoot daggers into my eyes.

"Guys." I tried it again, when Calum huffed.

"You're a jerk, Hemmo." the kiwi guy spoke up and I for once was goddamn lost in this conversation. Why was I the jerk now?

"What, why?" confused, I took the coffee, which Michael passed me.

"You left her, bro. And don't come with a shitty race excuse. It's nothing compared to how fucking shitty Atlas feels. She hasn't shown up to ballet and I bet she won't show up to PE." Ashton growled and for a second I was way too stunned to speak. My Atlas would never skip a ballet lesson — she's basically attached to this class. And I felt horrible for things on Friday, but Bryce would've killed me next time. Even though I won and got 500K, I didn't felt the adrenaline like I used to.

"Where is Atlas?" clenching my jaw, I went to the barista, so she could make a coffee with milk and sugar. I was going to look after her now, since I was the one who fucked up.

"In her room, Kaitlin is there as well." Calum mumbled and I looked at the woman, who passed me the coffee, when I gave her a five dollar bill. Without any other words, I left the coffee, with two cups of bittersweet liquor in my hand.

The was to Atlas' dorm was unbelievably short, but it felt so long, which doesn't make fucking sense. I knocked on the door and saw Kaitlin, she stared at me and I swear, if looks would kill, I would be dead by now.

"Kay, I think I'll manage it from here." Atlas' hoarse voice made me cringe. My fucking heart broke at the horrible sight of her.

"Call me if you need anything, babes." they hugged and the girl disappeared from the room. I sat on Atlas' bed and gulped.

"Atlas," she cut me off and it was the most heartbreaking sentence, she could've ever asked me.

"Was it worth it?" the purple bags under her eyes made me feel so fucking horrible and I shook my head, but she didn't believed me. I wouldn't believe myself too. I'm on the verge of destroying her and that's nothing I wanted.

"Atlas, baby — no." I scooted closer, trying to comfort the shaking girl in front of me in any way. But she only cries harder and I felt my heart shattering at the sounds of her sobs.

"You told me," she started, her words quiet, but I heard them very well and I knew what she was about to say. Because whatever I said yesterday, I fucking meant it.

"I know, baby. I know and I'm fucking sorry." to admit that I was sorry was annoying, but I really am. I felt horrible for leaving Atlas like that.

"I think it's the best if you leave." my heart ached with those words. What have I done?

"Atlas, please. Let me make this up." I begged and I would really go on my knees and beg like a little kid to have his toy.

"Luke, I'm not a toy which you can use whenever you please!" I winced, looking into Atlas' face, she was teary eyed and heartbroken just because I was a fucking idiot. I was partly amazed, because she never yelled at me, but right now she had every right to be mad at me. She could punch me for fucks sake and I would let her.

"You never were a toy for me, Atlas!" I snapped back, mainly because I was mad at myself.

"Then why are you treating me like one?" her small hands wrapped around her skinny body and I had the toxic urge to take her hands in mine, intertwining our hands. Whatever the fuck it was, I needed it with Atlas.

"We weren't even anything." she shrugged, silencing the room. I never knew the feeling of an actual heartbreak, but right now I felt it. And it hurts like hell.

"What are you trying to say, princess?" the most heartbreaking moments was here upon me and I had no idea how to handle that.

"Atlas, what do you mean?" I grabbed her wrist, pulling her to me, but she looked at me, with the most saddest and deepest eyes I've ever seen.

"I'm going my way and you go yours." And that was actually the moment, I made a girl so sad, that she had turned her back to me — a girl I loved, a girl I could have. For the most part, Atlas would've been my first girlfriend.

"Atlas, please. Don't say that." I really tried to respect her decision, but I couldn't, because the more I tried to understand it, the more it hurts.

"Leave, Luke." she wiggled herself off of my grip and went to the door. Her eyes stayed on the ground and I fucking felt her her heart breaking, just like mine. I turned to Atlas and stepped to her, my hands played with a strand of her hair. I didn't know why I started to get so angry, but I looked at her and I bet it was the pride.

"I told you, that I would've hurt you bad." with that, I opened the door and got out, slamming it behind me shut. My heart was determined to start to fall apart.