Captivated by shadows [h.s.]

14.

"It is folly to live when life becomes a torment, and we are obliged to die when death is our physician." - William Shakespeare

Another line of a poem that my mum often read to me back then. I only realised how much meaning there was in these lines when I experienced it for myself.

It is folly to live when life becomes a torment.

And that's exactly what it is at the moment. My life is nothing more than a torture for me, and sometimes I wonder what it would be like now if I had simply chosen death a few days ago.

I know I wouldn't stay on this earth any longer, but maybe that would have been better in the long run?

Perhaps I could have found happiness in an afterlife long ago?

I frequently wonder if it was a wise decision for me to go with Harry, Louis, Liam and Niall, but today was a day I clearly regretted it.

I was abducted while spending time with my abductors. I was kidnapped during my abduction.

Still with a black bag over my head, I could feel two men roughly dragging me out of the car. I gave up trying to fight back a few minutes ago. I would never be able to beat two men and I would probably need my strength for later.

On the one hand, it was good that so many bad things had happened to me throughout the days. Basically, it had only prepared me for this situation. I was able to try to stay calm because I could say from experience:

It can always be worse.

It wouldn't do anyone any good if I shouted or cried. Not only that, but it drains my strength and their nerves. Who knows what they're capable of and what they'd do if I got too exhausting for them.

On the other hand, I don't know if I could ever live a normal life again after all this. After a while I was able to come to terms with the fact that I was travelling with four murderers, but then I saw another man being killed.

I helped save Harry's life without travelling to a hospital with him, stole an expensive ring with Niall, and now I'm here. Kidnapped again by strange men.

I could make it into the Guinness Book of Records. Being kidnapped twice by different people in one week seems almost impossible, but no.

Rosalie Gray achieves everything that seems almost unimaginable.

I had to keep a cool head, maybe Niall and the others were already on their way to rescue me.

Although they couldn't really care less. I was just a burden for them anyway. They were probably happy that they no longer had to look after me.

I was pushed onto a chair and my hands were tied together with a rope behind the back of the chair.

A wonderful déjà vu

The bag was ripped off my head and three men I didn't know appeared. They're all wearing suits, which leads me to believe that they must have something to do with the man from the petrol station.

"Good afternoon, sunshine" the man standing in the middle between the two others begins to speak. He was bald and the only one whose suit was grey rather than black. "Where were you going in such a hurry?" he asked, crossing his arms.