Captivated by shadows [h.s.]

30.

I sit on the dark brown parquet floor amidst the desolate rubble, surrounded by an air of loneliness that envelops me like an invisible veil.

The rain is still pattering against the window pane, mixed with the soft thump of the bass of the music coming through the walls.

While Harry seeks the passion of a girl I don't know in my room, I find comfort in the words of the books that once stood on one of the broken shelves.

Why do I let Harry treat me like this?

Am I really sitting here flicking through the pages of a book while he's having fun with someone else in my room?

Sighing, I put the book down next to me.

He sent me here to his wrecked room, like a little child who has been given a time-out.

I brace myself on the floor to get up.

Harry can kiss my ass.

I'm certainly not going to sit here and wait for him as if I were his little employee who has to obey his every command.

I walked briskly down the stairs and was glad to see Niall sitting on the sofa. Sarah—at least that's what he'd called her earlier—was snuggled up close to him, blowing lots of kisses on his neck while he held a joint between his fingers and grinned contentedly into the air.

"Hey" I say meekly as I come to a halt next to the two of them.

"Hello, my little lamb." Niall looked up at me with bloodshot eyes, while Sarah made no move to stop.

"Is it inappropriate right now?" I ask, but Niall shakes his head.

"Everything okay?" He takes a big drag on the joint and holds the smoke in for a few seconds before exhaling again. Sighing, I let myself fall onto the sofa next to him.

"Harry's a huge asshole." I mutter, touching my forehead with my hand. It's pretty weird that I was having a conversation with Niall while someone else was kissing and touching him, but by now I'm hardly surprised by anything.

"What did he do?" he asks another question.

"He kicked me out of my room." Niall furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"He kicked you out of your room?"

"Yeah, becau–"

"Hey!" Sarah moved away from Niall's neck and looked in my direction with an annoyed expression. "Can you go cry all over someone else with your depressive shit? Nobody cares how mean your boyfriend was to you, as you can see we're busy." She was about to start kissing Niall's neck again, but he gently pushed her away.

"You don't talk to my little lamb like that."

"Your what?" she asks, confused, looking back and forth between the two of us.

"You've just been a total bitch." Niall continues, taking another drag on the joint.

"Come on, it's true. She's bothering us and talking all over us with her relationship crap, even though you can clearly see that we're busy." She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.

"Well, to be honest, it's not relationship crap. Harry's not my boyfriend." I reply meekly and play with my fingers, which are lying in my lap.

"That's right, to be precise, he's your husband." adds Niall, amused.

"Whatever. Boyfriend not boyfriend, I don't care. Tell someone else and leave us alone." Sarah replies snappishly.

"No, I think it's better if you leave now." Niall says, after he's just stubbed out his joint on the table in front of us.