Captivated by shadows [h.s.]

17.

I've never been as tired as I was at that moment, but I couldn't sleep. The flashbacks gave me no rest, and the imaginary hammer never stopped.

The whole car journey, I didn't say a word and I didn't really notice what the others were talking about. Even when we arrived at another house, I couldn't think about anything other than the feeling of the sharp blade cutting through Steven's skin.

Niall and Harry helped me get out of the car, even though Harry himself had trouble walking upright. They held me by my arms to lead me into the house, as I had no strength left to do anything on my own after the experience that I made.

I only vaguely realised how they led me into a room and took me to a bed where I sat down. Niall wiped the blood off my hands with a wet cloth, as he had done a few days ago. Meanwhile, Harry sat down in an armchair at the other end of the room and watched us.

Niall carefully pulled Liam's shirt over my head and at first he hesitated to wipe the blood from my chest, but when he realised once again that I was incapable of doing anything at the moment, he finally did it himself.

"It's going to be okay," he talks to me, while I stare into the empty space in a daze. "You're safe now."

After he had finished cleaning all the blood off me, he went to the black travelling bag that Liam had brought to us a few minutes ago, before disappearing again. Niall came back with a white jumper and then pulled it over my head. He scrutinised me for a few seconds before sitting down on the floor next to Harry and leaning back against the wall.

I wasn't sure how many hours passed, but after a while they both fell asleep. Harry's head hung limply down where his chin touched his chest, whereas the back of Niall's head, eyes closed, also leaned against the wall.

More hours passed, during which I sat on the bed in exactly the same position as they had placed me on it. I didn't close an eye, just stared into the empty space.

He is dead. I killed him. I am a murderer.

The only three sentences that kept going round and round in my head. Not even Liam, who came into the room after knocking on the door several times, managed to quiet my thoughts.

His eyes fell on me. For a moment, it looked like he was going to say something, but then he stopped and walked over to Harry and Niall, who were still asleep in the corner. "Niall" Liam lightly kicked Niall's leg, who immediately opened his eyes.

"What do you want?" he grumbled, Harry's head lifted as well, and he looked up at Liam with tired eyes.

"It's almost eight, we have to go," said Liam, still looking down at the two of them.

"Is it morning again?" Niall yawns and rubs his eyes with his hands.

"Yeah, now come and move your ass before we're late," Liam replied, causing Harry to scramble in his chair to get up. "No Harry, you stay here."

"Shut the fuck up. I'm coming with you." Harry replies gruffly.

"You can barely walk, and someone should stay with Rosie." Liam says.

"I'm not here to play the babysitter."

"It wouldn't do any good if you came with us. Today isn't an important meeting, we just need to talk about a few things," Niall interjects, his gaze falling on me shortly afterwards. "Has she slept at all?"

Liam shrugs his shoulders before looking to me as well. "I don't know, she was sitting awake on the bed when I came into the room, but if you ask me, it doesn't look like it."

"Oh man," Niall sighed and stood up. "Harry please don't be an asshole for once and listen to us, if you don't want to look after Rosie okay, but you can barely stand on your feet. You should get some rest." Harry crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.