Till Forever Falls Apart

33).Zane

ZANE

There are times in life when the inner beast of every person surfaces. I always thought that this beast of mine would never try to come out. It wasn't five years ago, when I lost one of the most important person of my life. I secretly started thinking that I don't have this side. The side which makes you see red everywhere. When all you want to do is destroy the person who is responsible for making you feel like your heart is being ripped out. 

But I was wrong. I was fucking wrong. 

Because right now I'm feeling exactly like that. I want to destroy the person who's responsible for her tears. 

Anika was hugging me tightly and sobbing continuously for the past twenty minutes but it felt like she's been crying for ages. I've never seen her like this. 

The heartbreak, so fucking evident on her face and I want to fucking kill the person who's responsible for that. 

I know she hates crying because it makes her feel vulnerable and the fact that she's making me see her like this, speaks about how much she trusts me. 

I tried to tame the beast, which was doing its best to go, hunt the person down and make him feel the same pain that she's feeling right now. But I didn't, only because she needs me to be her anchor, she's holding onto me like I'm her only way to survive.

So…I just held her and let her cry her emotions out. 

Eventually, her sobs died down and her breathing evened out. 

I looked down at her face and found her sleeping. Crying made her face all red and she looked fucking adorable. I slowly swiped the tears from her face and lifted her in my arms.

I took her into my bedroom and laid her down. Then, I removed her earrings, her bracelet and slippers. After making sure that she'll be comfortable, I covered her with a blanket. 

I looked at her for a moment then changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants. 

I pulled the covers a little and settled beside Ika. I turned towards her and kissed her forehead.

“Sleep my firefly, I won't let anyone hurt you.” I murmured against her forehead.

Turning the night lamp off, I finally let sleep call me. 

—-----------------------------------------

“Michael, can you hear me?” I asked, my voice, scratchy. 

The more he didn't respond, the more worried I became. 

I'm not going to lose him. I'm not losing my best friend. There's no way in hell I would survive, losing him. 

“Mickky, goddammit answer me. Mickky?” 

“Please!”

“Zane.”

Someone's calling my name. I know this voice.

“Wake up, Zane. You're fine.”

Slowly, I opened my eyes and found Ika staring at me with worried expressions. 

I looked at my surroundings and found myself in my room. With Anika. 

“Z…you okay?” She cupped my cheeks and asked in a small voice. 

That's when I realized that I had another one of my nightmare episodes and she witnessed everything. 

I wiped a hand over my face and said, “I'm okay. It's nothing.”

She looked at me with disbelief.

“You were thrashing in your sleep, Z. Does this happen often? Were you having a nightmare?” She asked in a soothing voice.

I sighed and nodded my head. 

I can't hide this anymore. I don't want to hide this anymore. 

“Remember, when I told you about my best friend, Michael. And that he died in an accident, five years ago?” 

She nodded her head.

“Well, what I didn't tell you was the fact that he died because of me.”