Till Forever Falls Apart

35). Zane

ZANE

Five years ago

“Yeah sure, why not?” I said to another fan who was asking for a selfie.

“Oh my god, I still can't believe that it's really you. I have watched all your movies.” My fan whose name is Stella, I guess, told me.

As soon as we entered the bar, two teenage girls recognised me and asked for a picture. Of course I agreed. But that was not it. We’ve been sitting here for the past hour and six people have disturbed our conversation and this one is the seventh. If I had known that this would happen I would've stayed at home with Mickky, so that we could've actually been able to talk. Every time someone interrupts us, I just show him my, ‘I'm sorry, this is happening right now’ face and in turn he gives me his ‘it’s fine, I understand’ face. But I know he is getting annoyed. Hell, I'm starting to get  annoyed now. 

 I just laughed a little and after saying thank you to them, sent them on their merry way. 

I love meeting my fans but more than that I love getting their feedback about what they think about my movies and the role that I portrayed. 

“You sure as hell have gotten a lot more famous than the last time we met, Z.” Michael said, who was sitting beside me.

The way he said this, made me look at him with narrow eyes. In the past, whenever he used to say things like these , there used to be pride shining in his eyes. But right now, I'm seeing something other than pride. Something…bitter, like…betrayal.

But I forced myself to think that it's nothing like this and I'm thinking too much. 

“Yeah. As we had thought, the role of Anthony Stewart really turned out to be the best choice for me. I got three movies and two Netflix series offers. Right now, I'm deciding which series to go for.” I took a big gulp of the whiskey that I'm drinking and then continued. “But for right now, enough about me. Let's talk about you. What's going on with you? Anything that I should know?” I asked in a teasing voice.

He took a deep breath, smiled and got a little…shy? Wow…looks like my man’s got a little secret from me.

“Umm…actually I've been meaning to tell you about this for a long time but you are always busy. Anyways, there's this gir…”

“OH! MY! FUCKING! GOD! Anthony Stewart. I'm a really big fan of yours. You were amazing in that movie. Can I please, please, please have a picture?” Some girl who must be around fifteen or sixteen said to me.

I smiled a little and said, sure. She took the picture and then went outside while bouncing on her feet.

I turned towards Michael to ask him to continue what he was saying. But before I could say anything, he said, “I think we should leave, I'm tired.” 

He threw some money on the table and left without sparing me any glance. 

Okay…something is really wrong. I need to ask him.

I followed him outside and took the driver's spot in the car and started the engine. For a little while we were both quiet. When I couldn't bear the silence anymore, I asked him, “when we get there, I'm ordering our favorite milkshakes. I hope you still like them.” 

I said to lighten the atmosphere. But of course, it didn’t help.

“I'm not you, Z. I'm still me. It's you who changed.” He said.

Okay, that's it. 

“What the hell does that mean, Michael?” I said, getting a little angry.

“It means exactly what it sounded like. You've changed, Z. A lot. We can't even have a normal conversation without getting interrupted every five seconds. And I know that it's not your fault. But what about the last two years, Z? We haven't had a decent conversation in the last two years. You're always either busy or tired or out for a gala or having fun with your other famous friends in a bar. It's always something, Z.” He said angrily.

He is right. We really haven't talked normally in two years. And yes, it's my fault. But did I accept it and resolve it? No.

“So, what did you expect would happen, huh? I can't talk to you all the time ” I asked him in frustration.

He sighed and said, “I miss my best friend, Zane. You are not him. You changed completely. You became like one of those snobby rich people, who just care about themselves.”

“I am still the same guy who went to L.A. to achieve his fucking dreams. Out of all the people, you know better about all the struggles I went through, to reach here. And now everyone knows who ‘Zane Sterling’ is. I made it happen. And you should be happy for me. You have always been my number one fan.”

I hate fighting with him. I knew something was wrong. Every time we talked on the phone, I could feel the distance expanding between us. He is my best fucking friend in the world. 

“I am happy for you. You know, when you told me that you got selected for the role of Anthony Stewart. I was fucking ecstatic. I was sooo happy that I traveled 400 miles via road, just to congratulate you. I got so tired, but it was all worth it. Because you, my best friend, were really happy to see me. But today, it felt like…like I was not even there. You got so immersed with those fans of yours, that you forgot about me. And trust me, today was not the first time this happened.”

I could understand what he was saying. Since my movies started getting hit, I've barely talked with him. And I know, I should've told him that this won't happen again and that we'll solve our issues and become exactly how we were, when we were kids. 

But instead I said, “You are not jealous of my fame are you?”

Only after I said that, did I realize the impact of those words. We shouldn't be having this conversation while I'm driving. But I guess, it's too late now.

“You think I'm jealous of you? Seriously? I've always been there for you, Zane. Through thick and thin, in bad and in good. And you think five years of fame can diminish years of friendship?” 

Of course I don't think that. But did I tell him that? No.

He took off his seat belt and in a low voice said, “Pull over, Zane. I can't be here with you anymore, otherwise I might kill you for saying those words to me.”

“I'm not pulling over. We are in the middle of nowhere. You won't be able to find a ride back home. Moreover, our conversation is not over. I'm sorry for sugge…”

He cut me off and shouted at me, “ Sorry? You think your sorry can fix everything? I hate that you think so low of me. I hate that your fame is more important for you than your best friend. I fucking hate you. Period.” 

I stopped the car immediately at his words. This is the first time I've ever seen him so angry. It felt like he might explode with the way he was trembling. I wanted to apologize to him and ask for his forgiveness. But before I could say anything the worst happened and everything went black.

                         ***

I opened my eyes a little disoriented and groaned in pain. 

Then I remembered, we got hit by a car. 

“Michael, can you hear me? Answer me, please?” I whimpered.

I'm stuck. I can't see anything clearly. It's all blurry. 

“I know that you're upset with me, bud. But this is not the time to tease me. Please tell me that you're okay.”

No answer. It's not like Michael, to not answer anything. 

I try to look at him but my neck is not letting me. 

After what feels like hours of trying with no result, I feel myself going back towards the darkness.