Till Forever Falls Apart

37). Zane

ZANE

When I decided to tell Ika everything about my past and the nightmares, I really thought that she would end things with me. Although we never really clearly talked about what we are, I think I made my thoughts perfectly clear about what I want us to be, when I introduced myself as her date in front of her friend Sid. 

The point is, I thought that this is it. I'll never be able to hold her again, hug her again, see her beautiful smile again but not only is she here with me but she's actually kissing me. 

After getting interrupted twice, it's finally happening. She touched her lips to mine, softly at first, like she wanted to explore me. I let her set the pace, even though all I wanted to do was deepen the kiss but I tried my best to contain myself because it was her first kiss. She nibbled on my lower lip softly and then broke apart from me. 

“Z…why aren't you kissing me back?” She asked in a whisper.

“Because I don't wanna scare you, firefly. I'm trying…my best to control myself but my patience is hanging by a thread and it can snap anytime. I've wanted to claim those soft lips of yours since the first time I saw you and now that it's actually happening, all I want to do is ravage you, claim you and make you mine for forever.” I said in a rough voice.

“I want you to ravage me. Claim me as yours, Z. Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me.” She said in a husky voice.

And the last thread of my patience snapped. I crushed my lips to hers. She gasped and I took advantage of that to deepen the kiss. My tongue, battling with hers for control. She mimicked my actions and soon we fell into a rhythm. I kissed her hard. She tasted so good like honey and spice. Just like her sweet and feisty personality. My tongue explored her mouth. My hands, that were in her hair, tugged harshly and a moan slipped free from her lips. I swallowed her moan of pleasure. After what feels like hours, but probably only minutes, we broke apart to inhale the much needed air. 

In between the kissing, she somehow landed on my lap and I know she could feel my growing erection because of how her eyes went wide with the realization.

I chuckled a little and said, “you can't expect me to not have any reaction, when I just kissed the girl of my dreams for the very first time.” 

“Umm…I don't…I have never experienced anything ever, Z. I'm just a little surprised and nervous…I guess.” She said. 

Her cheeks are so red like a tomato. She looks fucking kissable. 

“What's this?” She asked suddenly.

I looked in the direction where she was looking. 

My tattoo. 

She touched the only ink I have on my body, on my bicep. 

Normally, I kept it hidden. No one knew about this. Only Michael knew, since he also got the same tattoo in the same place on his body. On the left bicep. 

“I didn't know you had a tattoo, Z.” She said.

“I keep this hidden. It's become a habit. When I have to be shirtless on the sets , I cover it up with makeup. No one knows about this.” I explained.

She looked in my eyes and asked, “But why? It's so beautiful. Does this mean something?” 

“It does.” I said. “When I was about to leave for San Francisco, Michael and I decided to get this tattoo at the last minute. We wanted something meaningful. So we got this. An infinity with the ends turned into an arrow.” 

I lifted the sleeve of my teeth, all the way, so that she could see the whole ink. 

“The infinity means the everlasting bond and the arrow means that whichever direction we go in our life, our friendship will remain the same and eternal. He had the same tattoo at the same place, just like mine.” I told her.

“Do you have any other tattoos?” She asked.

“Hell no. There's no fucking way any other ink is covering my glorious body.”

She chuckled.

I smiled and sheepishly said, “Actually, the real reason is that I'm afraid of needles. I got this only for Mickky and that's the only reason I can never regret this.” 

I miss him so fucking much. 

As if reading my mind she asks “You miss him, na?” 

“I do, firefly. I do. So fucking much that it hurts.” I told her. My voice breaks at the end.

She climbed off my lap and settled in the middle of the bed. Then, she opened her arms and silently told me, through her eyes, to come and sleep. I rested my head on her chest and slept like a fucking baby in her arms. 

“Thank you for being here with me, my firefly.” I whispered in the dark.

We stayed like that for a while and eventually her breaths became deep and I knew that she fell asleep. I thought of moving to my side when she tightened her hold on me, not letting me go and mumbled in her sleep, “It really…wasn't your fault, Z.” 

I lifted my head a little and found her deep in sleep.

Damn…this girl, trying to comfort me even in her sleep. In that moment, I fell even more in love with her.

I settled in her embrace and whispered, “I wish it was true, firefly. I wish.”