Rejects // Punk Luke Hemmings

>Chapter Twenty-Six<

<Kara's POV>

[WARNING: May be triggering near the end, so if you have trouble reading that kind of thing, I will do a brief synopsis of this chapter at the end in the authors note, so you can just go there. stay strong. <3]

Tonight was perfect. I lost myself to the pounding beats and bass that rattled bones. The atmosphere was unlike any I'd experienced before. It was feverish and demanding and so fast-paced it left me gasping for air.

I danced and danced, not caring what anyone thought about me. But only for tonight. Tomorrow, I would care again. But not tonight.

Luke was the most perfect person there, looking elegantly rugged with his sleeves unbuttoned and rolled up to the elbows, exposing his tattoos. His hair gradually got messier as the night wore on, mainly because of me. He insisted on kissing me at any chance he got, and often times it would escalate pretty fast.

He would gently press his lips to mine, a hand on the small of my back while the other tilted back my chin. I would wrap my arms around his neck and push my fingers through his silky hair. The next thing I would know, his hand was grazing my leg, his mouth against my neck.

I was completely devoted to this boy. He had me wrapped around his finger, and I wasn't going to leave any time soon. Not if I could help it.

After several hours, the whole feel of the dance shifted. Good music started to play, starting with Green Day's Jesus of Suburbia. Everyone started going nuts and the moshing got ten times worse. One moment I was pressed up against Luke, still intoxicated by the scent of him, and the next there was an unfamiliar set of arms around my waist, a new smell entering my nose. My eyes snapped open, only to find Calum standing there.

Calum, of all people.

I had to admit though, he looked pretty damn good. His hair was swept up into a sort of quiff, a black jacket covering his arms and a white t-shirt. He had on black skinny jeans, just like the rest of the guys in our group, and a small grin adorned his full lips. Of course, he had nothing on Luke, but then again, they were attractive in different ways.

"Do you mind?" He placed his lips near my ear so he wouldn't have to yell.

"Not really. I guess it's cool," I shrugged even though I was slightly uncomfortable. But only because I knew his reputation when it came to girls.

"Good. Luke's been hogging you all night so I just decided I'd take a turn," he said with a smirk in his voice.

"What about Petra?" I pulled back to look at him suspiciously.

"Oh. I told her we were over," he said as if it were the simplest thing in the world. I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"So why are you dancing with me exactly?" I asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Because you're hot as fúck," he grinned. "What other reason do I need?"

"Well a reason not to is the fact that I'm dating Luke," I yelled, pushing at his chest. But it did nothing to get his arms off my waist. He smirked fully now, a sly and cocky gesture that only infuriated me more. "Let go!" I struggled against him.

"Aw, come on Kara, you don't need Luke. I want you, so isn't that better?" He placed his lips close enough to my ear that they brushed my skin as he growled the words.

"No, that's a thousand times worse," I laughed as I gave a final shove that freed me from him. I hurried away, silently praising my slight stature as I could weave through the crowd much easier than Calum could.

"Luke!" I screamed, crashing through arms and torsos. Tears prickled behind my eyes, but I couldn't let them fall yet. Not here at least. "Luke!!"

I stumbled around aimlessly, feeling my anxiety skyrocket. My breathing got shallow and my palms were coated in ashen of cold sweat. I grew shaky, wanting nothing more than to get out of here. Someone shoved me, sending me crashing backward through a girl and boy caught in the middle of a conversation. That was when my panic attack hit its peak.

Standing no more than a foot away was Luke, my gorgeous Luke who was supposed to love me and said I was the only one. And attached to him like the leech she was: none other than Kelsey. I stood there for probably a full fifteen seconds. But it seemed more like fifteen years as I watched her forcefully kiss him. Everything seemed to slow down, the music sounded like it was playing in a completely different building, the lights seemed to dim. Nothing drew my attention away from the terrible sight before me.

A horrible sound ripped itself out of my lungs, making Luke's head jerk in my direction. He shoved Kelsey off of him, reaching out for me, but I was numb as I turned and fled toward the exit. I shoveled through people, positive that I'd lost him in the crowd. I ran to where my clutch was being held, grabbed my shoes, then left in my bare feet.

I ran home as fast as my legs could carry me, which left them burning when I reached my destination, but the burning was nothing compared to what I felt in my chest. I burst inside, hurtling up the stairs fast enough that mom couldn't stop me. I locked myself in my room, and that's when the tears came.

I collapsed on the floor, clutching my chest as ugly sounds burst from my lips and ugly tears showered down from my eyes. That's what I was. Ugly. Obviously I wasn't good enough for Luke. Otherwise he wouldn't have kissed Kelsey. Otherwise he would have never let Calum steal me away.

With my anxiety in full control, I barely had the ability to make a comprehensible thought, much less stop myself from walking into my bathroom and pulling out a drawer in the sink. Taped underneath was the only thing that could help me now. The only thing that could take my mind off of Luke for the moment.

Changing out of the beautiful dress that I didn't deserve, I sat on the cold floor of the bathroom. Staring at the little glinting sliver of metal between my fingers, I wiped at my soaked face, trying to clear my vision.

one swipe on my hip for Luke.

one stroke on the other hip for Kelsey.

one on the inside of my left thigh for Calum.

one on the inside of my right thigh for myself.

Four lines on my skin could release my anger and fear and anxiety better than anything else could ever hope to. Watching the red running from the slits, I stopped crying. What did four more little scars matter when I already had so many? I needed to anyway.

I dabbed at the blood until it stopped, then looked at the clock to find it was almost two in the morning. I sighed and stood up. Washing all traces of tonight from my face, I gingerly climbed into bed, too tired to sleep, too upset to cry, and to lonely to call Luke, because who knew where I stood with him now?

••••••••••••••••••••

A/N

So, as I said in the beginning, here is a brief synopsis of this chapter: Kara and Luke were dancing, Calum was the one who took her from him (when she disappeared in the last chapter). He says how he dropped his old girlfriend and wanted Kara now, which upsets her so much she pushes him away and runs away through the crowd to look for Luke. She starts to have an anxiety attack because of all the people, and when she finds Luke and Kelsey kissing, she runs home and is self destructive.

I haven't had anyone talk to me about depression or any kind of mental disorder yet, but please, know that I've been through a lot of that stuff myself, so I want you to talk to me if you need someone to talk to. I promise I won't judge you in any way, I just want to try to help in any way I can. I really love you guys, and I want you to be happy all the time. So know that I'm always available, and if I don't respond right away I will. I swear.

I love you guys, hope that wasn't too intense, but it was necessary. Thank you for your undying love and support. Until the next chapter, <3.

~CC